sentientbeing wrote:I have been experiencing Depersonalization Disorder for the last 3 years along with other psychological conditions such as Anhedonia, Depression...
The most disturbing of these symptoms is the experience of behaving against my will. My thoughts, feelings, actions work in a completely deterministic fashion that I have no control over.
I also experience Anatta and I have difficulty setting long-term goals and accomplishing them because I lack the emotional substrate.
Is there a way to "un-enlighten"? I would prefer to live in the state of ordinary consciousness with attachments and suffering.
I think your question is not to the right group of people, mainly because what you are experiencing isn't part of the practice per se, rather a medical condition.
Try talking to your doctor about referrals to psychotherapists or other professional experienced in dealing with this area they may send you to a MBSR type therapist or another better suited to the specific help you require.
Hope you find what you are looking for.