My name is Martin Story-Kapusta, and I have recently sat for my first time at a 10-day Vipassana Retreat (S.N. Goenka), in Canada.
First off, unbelievably beautiful experience of liberation. But you all already know how sweet it is.
I have been sitting at least 2x a day ever since (it's been about two weeks) and it has been up and down. Impermanence to the tee, though I notice my equanimity growing every day.
Recently I have been noticing that every time I put my attention (or seem to) to the "Anapana Spot" on my upper lip below the nostrils, the only sensation I get is a sort of numb pressure.
However, this sensation seems to be slightly shared by my nostrils and part of my top lip. So, every time I begin to practice Anapana to cultivate samadhi for Vipassana, I get this sensation.
The problem is, I find myself battling constantly whether this is truly my upper lip, or if it is some other spot nearby, or if it's just completely blind, etc.
Then my attention becomes distracted because I doubt myself whether or not this is truly where my concentration is focused.
I think "it's probably just my teeth underneath the lip", or "it can't be the right spot because this overwhelming numb sensation in my nostrils is probably just taking over that whole area".
Am I just making a big deal out of something completely non-existent?
Am I simply just not satisfied by the sensation and expecting something else?
I have tried touching the spot and then focusing back there until the "touched sensation" goes away and it seems to me like everything is okay.
I feel like I'm just thinking too much.
Has anyone else experienced such doubt, or a similar sensation in a similar area with a similar story?
Much appreciation for any help and guidance. This worry hurdle would be nice to pass!
Utmost metta and gratitude,