shouldnt convince people to meditate ?

[purple planet]

I talked to a monk who follows Ven. Ajaan Tong Sirimangal and he told me not to teach and not to convince people to meditate

i can understand why not to try to teach people - cause i might not know how to -

but why not to convince my family to meditate ? is it because its not their karma or something like that ?

[Coyote]

I've heard similar advice from monks, not to teach meditation to those who aren't well grounded in right-view. I think the idea is that such people may use meditation for the wrong reasons, and actually increase their desire and self-view. Without proper guidance and understanding undertaking meditation can lead to all sorts of problems and actually slow progress towards the path. At least, that's how I interpreted it. But this was all from online talks, and I can't remember where from exactly. Also, it's the same reason why Buddhists don't proselytise, instead making the Dhamma available to all and then engaging those who are interested. Actively teaching is a big commitment, and if those people aren't similarly committed it is just a waste of energy. Same reason why the newly-enlightened Buddha almost refused to teach. Not to say there can't be any good in teaching your family, but I think that might be where this monk is coming from.

[purple planet]

thanks for the reply

anyone who wants to add his own opinion about this is welcome - so whoever wants to answer :

did you convince your freinds to meditate ? why , how , when ect ....

did you convince your family to meditate ? why , how , when ( after you were sure of the practice?) ect ....

how did you convince them ? did you answer their question in deitail ? did you not convince them ? why didnt you convince them ?

you dont have to right a long answer or answer it all even just on one question and in short way is good

[reflection]

I won't try to convince anybody with the goal of getting them to meditate. When people are given something with any degree of force, they usually won't bite. What I do, however, is inform rather than convince. I just say what meditation does for me and how I think it could help other people. It's up to them to pick it up or ask me further questions. But I only do this for people I think are genuinely interested. You have to have a bit of knowledge about people. Some may be scared off meditation (and Buddhism) for the rest of their lives if they do one meditation session that annoyed them. For them, it's not the time.

For others, it may just take a while. I have a friend I've known for many years, and I often told her how meditation helped me and what it does. I said it might also help her a bit. For example, when she was getting all messed up because of not being able to rest her mind. But I never did that with the intention of convincing her. It was up to her to figure out for herself whether she wanted to do it or not. Also, I trusted the results I had from meditation would show through my character. For about five years, she never took it very serious, and never meditated. But recently, she told me she hooked up with a meditation group and is having nice results already. I also gave her some Buddhist books to read and she liked them.

So, like a shy animal, you lure them instead of pushing them. In a way I find it quite amazing how many people have some sort of hidden desire to meditate, but never got to it. But if you bring it like an evangelist, you might ruin this hint of desire the have in them. Perhaps that's why the monk told you not to convince people.

In my family, I gave my parents some books on Buddhism and told them a bit of the basics and why I like it. They seem to be interested, which surprised me quite a bit actually. I'm convinced also here it is my actions that speak and not my words. But I feel it's not the right moment for them to try meditation. At least, not with me as the one who makes them try. People have to come from their own desire to meditate, or it is bound to fail anyway. They'll start off with the mindset "(s)he made me do it, but I don't want to. I'll just sit it out". Of course, such a mindset is a guarantee for failure.

With metta!
Reflection

[Jay1]

I talked to a monk who follows Ven. Ajaan Tong Sirimangal and he told me not to teach and not to convince people to meditate

i can understand why not to try to teach people - cause i might not know how to -

but why not to convince my family to meditate ? is it because its not their karma or something like that ?

I don't know why he said what he said but I do know that it's futile to convince people to meditate. Like, be honest but don't bother with preaching.

Also, you shouldn't not help someone because of their karma lol

[purple planet]

I am an atheist and i never was in to new age stuff - and thats how my family knows me -

now lets say that in the future i will be able to see my past lifes - for me that is super proof - now if i will tell my family i have no doubt they will believe me and will all start meditating - were very close

if its only a thing about - maybe the convincing may not work then i see no problem cause i dont think i will have a problem convincing them if i will tell them that i believe in the meditation

[khlawng]

Well most times, when I meet up with friends, they are always surrounded by their kids and talking about jobs, cars, homes, church and how happy they are.. I could never slip in the opportunity to tell them what the goals are for buddhist meditation. Often, they just think I meditate becuase I am trying to cope with stress at work and home. Even when they ask me about meditation, I am monosyllabic with my answers and change the subject rather quickly. We are just too polarized in our views for me to do any good.