I observed uposatha for the first time, today. I didn't even realize it was an uposatha day until noon. Luckily, I had finished my cereal before noon. I didn't take the eight precepts today (partially due to the fact that uposatha caught me off guard, but moreso to my own internal hindrances and excuse making), but I did delve in to renunciation. I went twelve hours without food (between noon and midnight), which was new to me, because I normally have small amounts of food throughout the day and cook for myself at night. It made me realize how attached to the sensual pleasure of food I really am. Additionally, I went without a few forms of entertainment (radio, music, television), although I did use my computer and read books today. But, most importantly, I really upped my meditation today. I meditated five times in total, a session in the morning, two sessions in the afternoon, and two sessions this evening. I kept feeling a desire to practice and exert effort, a sense of urgency. Two of my meditation sessions were particularly rewarding as far as development of concentration goes. I feel the Dhamma increasing in my life with each passing day.
Today, I learned I have been accepted for a job at a bookstore. I was somewhat reluctant to take it, as I fear it might take away from my practice time. I guess I will just have to be a bit more skilled in now that I actually have to manage my time.
Question: Is it common to feel as if you are falling backwards whenever your breath and concentration is becoming refined in a session?
I do not want my house to be walled in on sides and my windows to be stuffed. I want the cultures of all the lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible. But I refuse to be blown off my feet by any.- Gandhi
With persistence aroused for the highest goal's attainment, with mind unsmeared, not lazy in action, firm in effort, with steadfastness & strength arisen, wander alone like a rhinoceros.
Not neglecting seclusion, absorption, constantly living the Dhamma in line with the Dhamma, comprehending the danger in states of becoming, wander alone like a rhinoceros.- Snp. 1.3