Hello all.
I need a bit of help. My grandmother just passed away recently and I'm going through a grieving time right now. I've been trying to remain positive, knowing that my grandmother is now re-entering the khammic cycle and has moved on from her physical state of suffering in this life. However, it's still a bit difficult to deal with mentally and emotionally and especially spiritually. I was wondering when I go to meditation today and over the next few weeks, what should I be meditating about? Is there something to focus on that will help me to not be attached to the idea of her death? I know that sometimes monks even meditate inside of crematories to better understand death. Can anyone give some suggestions?
Metta,
Julia
Death and Meditation
- AlaskanDhamma
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2009 8:28 pm
- Location: Alaska, USA
Death and Meditation
"Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace." -Buddha
Re: Death and Meditation
Hi Julia
I am going through grief myself right now. Unless you are given instruction from your meditation teacher, I recommend that you continue with your usual object of meditation. I also recommend that you incorporate metta bhavana as an adjunct. In the past I have found that spending some time per day practicing metta, on top of my vipassana practice, has eased my grief.
I am sorry for your loss and I wish you all the best.
Ben
I am going through grief myself right now. Unless you are given instruction from your meditation teacher, I recommend that you continue with your usual object of meditation. I also recommend that you incorporate metta bhavana as an adjunct. In the past I have found that spending some time per day practicing metta, on top of my vipassana practice, has eased my grief.
I am sorry for your loss and I wish you all the best.
Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725
Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global Relief • UNHCR
e: [email protected]..
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725
Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global Relief • UNHCR
e: [email protected]..
- AlaskanDhamma
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2009 8:28 pm
- Location: Alaska, USA
Re: Death and Meditation
Ben,
Thank you for your well wishes and advice. I think I'll try that.
Thank you for your well wishes and advice. I think I'll try that.
"Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace." -Buddha
Re: Death and Meditation
My advice would to just be mindful of what your feeling, investigate why and reflect, why is it you grieve?
grief can be used as a very skilful means for insight, i would also recomend the metta meditation as well
However this is just my advice, decide what feels right for you to do, you know best
Hope your Dukkha sucums to its Anicca soon
Metta
Craig
grief can be used as a very skilful means for insight, i would also recomend the metta meditation as well
However this is just my advice, decide what feels right for you to do, you know best
Hope your Dukkha sucums to its Anicca soon
Metta
Craig
Last edited by Ceisiwr on Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“Knowing that this body is just like foam,
understanding it has the nature of a mirage,
cutting off Māra’s flower-tipped arrows,
one should go beyond the King of Death’s sight.”
understanding it has the nature of a mirage,
cutting off Māra’s flower-tipped arrows,
one should go beyond the King of Death’s sight.”
Re: Death and Meditation
I agree with Ben, continue your usual practice and, if you don't do it already, add some Metta practice.
My grandmother died two years ago, and during a few days after her departure I did Metta a lot, wishing her to have an happy rebirth with the good fortune of having caring parents.
My grandmother died two years ago, and during a few days after her departure I did Metta a lot, wishing her to have an happy rebirth with the good fortune of having caring parents.
With Metta
- retrofuturist
- Posts: 27848
- Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:52 pm
- Location: Melbourne, Australia
- Contact:
Re: Death and Meditation
Greetings AlaskanDhamma,
I recommend...
Sn 3.8 - Salla Sutta (The Arrow)
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .irel.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Metta,
Retro.
I recommend...
Sn 3.8 - Salla Sutta (The Arrow)
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .irel.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Metta,
Retro.
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
- jcsuperstar
- Posts: 1915
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- Location: alaska
- Contact:
Re: Death and Meditation
i'm sorry
สัพเพ สัตตา สุขีตา โหนตุ
the mountain may be heavy in and of itself, but if you're not trying to carry it it's not heavy to you- Ajaan Suwat
the mountain may be heavy in and of itself, but if you're not trying to carry it it's not heavy to you- Ajaan Suwat
- Cittasanto
- Posts: 6646
- Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:31 pm
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- Contact:
Re: Death and Meditation
I am sorry for your loss, I know the pain of loosing a loved one. once I was ready I found relaxing when I noticed my mindfulness lapse then going back to the object.
Blog, Suttas, Aj Chah, Facebook.
He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.
John Stuart Mill
He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.
John Stuart Mill
Re: Death and Meditation
First of all, hello Julia, very sorry for your loss. I am sure your meditation practice will bring you peace, wisdom or best of all both to help you deal with your grieving.
Metta,
Phil
Thanks for this sutta, Retro. I don't know how I missed it before.retrofuturist wrote:Greetings AlaskanDhamma,
I recommend...
Sn 3.8 - Salla Sutta (The Arrow)http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .irel.html
Metta,
Retro.
Metta,
Phil
Kammalakkhano , bhikkhave, bālo, kammalakkhano pandito, apadānasobhanī paññāti
(The fool is characterized by his/her actions/the wise one is characterized by his/her actions/Wisdom shines forth in behaviour.)
(AN 3.2 Lakkhana Sutta)
(The fool is characterized by his/her actions/the wise one is characterized by his/her actions/Wisdom shines forth in behaviour.)
(AN 3.2 Lakkhana Sutta)