Hello all.
I need a bit of help. My grandmother just passed away recently and I'm going through a grieving time right now. I've been trying to remain positive, knowing that my grandmother is now re-entering the khammic cycle and has moved on from her physical state of suffering in this life. However, it's still a bit difficult to deal with mentally and emotionally and especially spiritually. I was wondering when I go to meditation today and over the next few weeks, what should I be meditating about? Is there something to focus on that will help me to not be attached to the idea of her death? I know that sometimes monks even meditate inside of crematories to better understand death. Can anyone give some suggestions?
Metta,
Julia
A Buddhist discussion forum on the Dhamma of the Theravada
Death and Meditation
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Death and Meditation
by AlaskanDhamma » Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:12 pm
"Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace." -Buddha
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AlaskanDhamma - Posts: 52
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Re: Death and Meditation
by Ben » Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:26 pm
Hi Julia
I am going through grief myself right now. Unless you are given instruction from your meditation teacher, I recommend that you continue with your usual object of meditation. I also recommend that you incorporate metta bhavana as an adjunct. In the past I have found that spending some time per day practicing metta, on top of my vipassana practice, has eased my grief.
I am sorry for your loss and I wish you all the best.
Ben
I am going through grief myself right now. Unless you are given instruction from your meditation teacher, I recommend that you continue with your usual object of meditation. I also recommend that you incorporate metta bhavana as an adjunct. In the past I have found that spending some time per day practicing metta, on top of my vipassana practice, has eased my grief.
I am sorry for your loss and I wish you all the best.
Ben
...he wondered whether there was any love between human beings that did not rest upon some sort of self-delusion.
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-- John le Carré, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global Relief •
UNHCR Somali Emergency Relief Appeal • Kiva: (person to person micro-finance)
e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com
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Re: Death and Meditation
by AlaskanDhamma » Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:47 pm
Ben,
Thank you for your well wishes and advice. I think I'll try that.
Thank you for your well wishes and advice. I think I'll try that.
"Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace." -Buddha
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AlaskanDhamma - Posts: 52
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Re: Death and Meditation
by clw_uk » Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:30 pm
My advice would to just be mindful of what your feeling, investigate why and reflect, why is it you grieve?
grief can be used as a very skilful means for insight, i would also recomend the metta meditation as well
However this is just my advice, decide what feels right for you to do, you know best
Hope your Dukkha sucums to its Anicca soon
Metta
Craig
grief can be used as a very skilful means for insight, i would also recomend the metta meditation as well
However this is just my advice, decide what feels right for you to do, you know best
Hope your Dukkha sucums to its Anicca soon
Metta
Craig
Last edited by clw_uk on Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
not worrying about
the past and the future,
giving rise to the present moment,
becoming established in this place of full perfection.”
Ajahn Liem
the past and the future,
giving rise to the present moment,
becoming established in this place of full perfection.”
Ajahn Liem
- clw_uk
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Re: Death and Meditation
by Rui Sousa » Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:37 pm
I agree with Ben, continue your usual practice and, if you don't do it already, add some Metta practice.
My grandmother died two years ago, and during a few days after her departure I did Metta a lot, wishing her to have an happy rebirth with the good fortune of having caring parents.
My grandmother died two years ago, and during a few days after her departure I did Metta a lot, wishing her to have an happy rebirth with the good fortune of having caring parents.
With Metta
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Rui Sousa - Posts: 366
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Re: Death and Meditation
by retrofuturist » Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:50 pm
Greetings AlaskanDhamma,
I recommend...
Sn 3.8 - Salla Sutta (The Arrow)
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .irel.html
Metta,
Retro.
I recommend...
Sn 3.8 - Salla Sutta (The Arrow)
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .irel.html
Metta,
Retro.
If you have asked me of the origination of unease, then I shall explain it to you in accordance with my understanding:
Whatever various forms of unease there are in the world, They originate founded in encumbering accumulation. (Pārāyanavagga)
'We should not congratulate someone on the success of their misdeeds, but on the contrary should endeavour to advise him or her to lead a more skilful and wholesome life. If such advice is ignored then we can only give up and let go' - Phra Panyapatipo
Dharma Wheel (Mahayana / Vajrayana forum)
Whatever various forms of unease there are in the world, They originate founded in encumbering accumulation. (Pārāyanavagga)
'We should not congratulate someone on the success of their misdeeds, but on the contrary should endeavour to advise him or her to lead a more skilful and wholesome life. If such advice is ignored then we can only give up and let go' - Phra Panyapatipo
Dharma Wheel (Mahayana / Vajrayana forum)
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retrofuturist - Posts: 13702
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Re: Death and Meditation
by jcsuperstar » Wed Mar 11, 2009 1:55 am
i'm sorry
สัพเพ สัตตา สุขีตา โหนตุ
the mountain may be heavy in and of itself, but if you're not trying to carry it it's not heavy to you- Ajaan Suwat
the mountain may be heavy in and of itself, but if you're not trying to carry it it's not heavy to you- Ajaan Suwat
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jcsuperstar - Posts: 1915
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Re: Death and Meditation
by Cittasanto » Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:02 am
I am sorry for your loss, I know the pain of loosing a loved one. once I was ready I found relaxing when I noticed my mindfulness lapse then going back to the object.
This offering maybe right, or wrong, but it is one, the other, both, or neither!
With Metta
Upāsaka Cittasanto
Blog - Some Suttas Translated.
"Others will misconstrue reality due to their personal perspectives, doggedly holding onto and not easily discarding them; We shall not misconstrue reality due to our own personal perspectives, nor doggedly holding onto them, but will discard them easily. This effacement shall be done."
With Metta
Upāsaka Cittasanto
Blog - Some Suttas Translated.
"Others will misconstrue reality due to their personal perspectives, doggedly holding onto and not easily discarding them; We shall not misconstrue reality due to our own personal perspectives, nor doggedly holding onto them, but will discard them easily. This effacement shall be done."
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Cittasanto - Posts: 5501
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Re: Death and Meditation
by phil » Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:22 am
First of all, hello Julia, very sorry for your loss. I am sure your meditation practice will bring you peace, wisdom or best of all both to help you deal with your grieving.
Thanks for this sutta, Retro. I don't know how I missed it before.
Metta,
Phil
retrofuturist wrote:Greetings AlaskanDhamma,
I recommend...
Sn 3.8 - Salla Sutta (The Arrow)http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/snp/snp.3.08.irel.html
Metta,
Retro.
Thanks for this sutta, Retro. I don't know how I missed it before.
Metta,
Phil
I hope that every time I post it will be accompanied by a wish for the wellbeing of everyone in this sangha and all beings.
(so I don't have to write "metta" every time!)
Kammalakkhano , bhikkhave, bālo, kammalakkhano pandito, apadānasobhanī paññāti
(The fool is characterized by his/her actions/the wise one is characterized by his/her actions/Wisdom shines forth in behaviour.)
(AN 3.2 Lakkhana Sutta)
(so I don't have to write "metta" every time!)
Kammalakkhano , bhikkhave, bālo, kammalakkhano pandito, apadānasobhanī paññāti
(The fool is characterized by his/her actions/the wise one is characterized by his/her actions/Wisdom shines forth in behaviour.)
(AN 3.2 Lakkhana Sutta)
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phil - Posts: 487
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