together and do your duty
Such a lazy and loaded response. I think in a 20 year relationship there are many duties and failings. Yes, a young child. Yes, I am male. My duty is to my child. My wife and I are growning apart. There is no more information that is relevant.
Ah, so I was right...
When you do a lot of relationship counseling, you get a little feeling in the stomach.
I'm sorry if my reply was very brief, but I am very busy. Amongst other things as a relationship counselor.
Yes, you have an obligation to your child and it is good to feel this way and also compassion.
I know that it can be much, much harder to feel this way for a long term partner...
I also don't wish to lay blame, its not about laying blame at all.
Feelings can melt away in long term relationships, and I know there is a great deal of feeling guilty for a partner who wishes to break free,- for whichever reason.
Reasons can be so many, for instance a loss of love for the partner, boredom, a third party coming into a picture.... it happens.
Although compassion with a partner could be a good key to relax a situation, it is often very hard to develop more compassion, when one is worn out and NEEDS something else to feel happiness.
I would recommend you visit this page: http://www.relationship-doc.com/
and also stay here to learn more about the Buddhist approach as well.
It has a chapter about long term relationships, if it is uploaded yet.
Good luck with your problem.