This is a very interesting topic, albeit one that I have been giving a lot of thought lately.
It appears to me, (as a philosopher), that attitudes toward sexuality are very much ingrained in our cultural 'matrix', little talked about, and much misunderstood.
Up until the latter half of the 20th century, attitudes towards sexuality were, (and still are in some circles), predominantly prudish and hypocritical. The much-hyped 'Sexual Revolution' of the 60's and 70's seemed to turn attitudes 'inside-out' and promote a more laissez-faire attitude toward sex. People could have their cake and eat it, but there wasn't much consideration of how overindulgence in cake could be harmful to your karma.
Education about sexual ethics in schools and religious institutions languished somewhat as the old cultural norms eroded. There was a lot of talk about casual sex being acceptable behaviour provided the proper 'precautions' were taken. It's almost as if the old hypocrisies were turned inside out.
Coming to terms with one's sexuality is not an easy task, if we are to be honest. Civilization has always placed a great deal of emphasis on Mind as opposed to the Body and gross senses, and the modern post-industrial mindset has only sought to intensify this
. Is this a bad thing? - the answer is that I really do not know at this stage, but it is interesting.
It almost seems to be part of our existential make-up to endorse body-mind dualism. A state of pure mind, pure being in the moment is seen as desirable, and the ultimate goal of spiritual attainment. The body and senses are seen as a 'barrier' to this, being part of the gross, ephemeral and illusory.
This is a recurring theme in spiritual traditions, oriental and occidental. Modern culture seems to be caught in the quandary of either revelling in the pleasures of the flesh, or denying them outright in the name of a 'higher' attainment.
I think it is time to wrap up here, without embarking on a treatise. The problem is not so much about mind or no-mind, or sex versus abstinence - more about the repercussions of one's actions and how they impact on others.
If we abandon our obsession with Mind and integrate Compassion into our actions, and above all be honest with ourselves, then I feel that sexuality will become less of a problem, less of a guilty pleasure, and more a part of life.
PS. I am aware that this thread has been inactive for some time - please feel free to quote or cross-post at will.