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Sexual Misconduct - Page 3 - Dhamma Wheel

Sexual Misconduct

Buddhist ethical conduct including the Five Precepts (Pañcasikkhāpada), and Eightfold Ethical Conduct (Aṭṭhasīla).
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby phil » Sat Feb 26, 2011 12:06 pm

Kammalakkhano , bhikkhave, bālo, kammalakkhano pandito, apadānasobhanī paññāti
(The fool is characterized by his/her actions/the wise one is characterized by his/her actions/Wisdom shines forth in behaviour.)
(AN 3.2 Lakkhana Sutta)

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby adeh » Sat Feb 26, 2011 6:02 pm

I have read the thread carefully and I was just giving my opinion on this and also some of the opinions stated in the thread on masturbation...I just think that a balanced attitude to one's sexuality is much better that swinging to extremes...If you wish to be celibate...well that's great, but it's also good if you don't wish to..as lay people we have that choice...don't forget that sensual desire is something that is not eliminated until you reach the stage of non-returner which could be many lifetimes away...

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby phil » Sun Feb 27, 2011 12:01 am

Kammalakkhano , bhikkhave, bālo, kammalakkhano pandito, apadānasobhanī paññāti
(The fool is characterized by his/her actions/the wise one is characterized by his/her actions/Wisdom shines forth in behaviour.)
(AN 3.2 Lakkhana Sutta)

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Tehuti » Sun Nov 11, 2012 6:36 pm

Dear All,

This is a very interesting topic, albeit one that I have been giving a lot of thought lately.

It appears to me, (as a philosopher), that attitudes toward sexuality are very much ingrained in our cultural 'matrix', little talked about, and much misunderstood.

Up until the latter half of the 20th century, attitudes towards sexuality were, (and still are in some circles), predominantly prudish and hypocritical. The much-hyped 'Sexual Revolution' of the 60's and 70's seemed to turn attitudes 'inside-out' and promote a more laissez-faire attitude toward sex. People could have their cake and eat it, but there wasn't much consideration of how overindulgence in cake could be harmful to your karma.

Education about sexual ethics in schools and religious institutions languished somewhat as the old cultural norms eroded. There was a lot of talk about casual sex being acceptable behaviour provided the proper 'precautions' were taken. It's almost as if the old hypocrisies were turned inside out.

Coming to terms with one's sexuality is not an easy task, if we are to be honest. Civilization has always placed a great deal of emphasis on Mind as opposed to the Body and gross senses, and the modern post-industrial mindset has only sought to intensify this. Is this a bad thing? - the answer is that I really do not know at this stage, but it is interesting.

It almost seems to be part of our existential make-up to endorse body-mind dualism. A state of pure mind, pure being in the moment is seen as desirable, and the ultimate goal of spiritual attainment. The body and senses are seen as a 'barrier' to this, being part of the gross, ephemeral and illusory.

This is a recurring theme in spiritual traditions, oriental and occidental. Modern culture seems to be caught in the quandary of either revelling in the pleasures of the flesh, or denying them outright in the name of a 'higher' attainment.

I think it is time to wrap up here, without embarking on a treatise. The problem is not so much about mind or no-mind, or sex versus abstinence - more about the repercussions of one's actions and how they impact on others. If we abandon our obsession with Mind and integrate Compassion into our actions, and above all be honest with ourselves, then I feel that sexuality will become less of a problem, less of a guilty pleasure, and more a part of life.

Thank you.

:namaste:

PS. I am aware that this thread has been inactive for some time - please feel free to quote or cross-post at will.

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Yana » Mon Nov 12, 2012 4:08 am

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Sambojjhanga » Mon Nov 12, 2012 1:41 pm

For myself, I have found that complete abstinence (aka celibacy) works best for me, for now. I say for now because I would perhaps consider becoming non-celibate if I got married. So I wanted to clarify. I'm not against sex, per se, but against the WAY sex is used in this culture (Western, especially American, culture.) Sex is HIGHLY manipulated in Western culture for the purposes of marketing. The master marketers of the West are experts in applied psychology ala Edward Berneys, etc.

I believe we live in a highly sexualized, highly dangerous culture. Sex is the single greatest addiction there is which binds us to Samsara. Sex is one of the primary destroyers of relationships! I've seen this with my friends and family over and over again.

Most people in the West do not dress modestly and, indeed, many dress HIGHLY provocatively. This leads to a great tension of lust. People can dress in a very nice manner without dressing in a sexually provocative manner, yet due to marketing, peer pressure and "style" (gee, WHO decides this style...think marketeers), this is not the case. People hone their bodies in the West, NOT simply due to wishing to be fit or athletic, but specifically to enhance their sex appeal. Case in point, there is NO reason to stuff bags of silicone or saline under one's pectoral muscles for ANY other reason (save perhaps for the few who have true body defects.) The same is true with fake suntans. Obviously, if you get a suntan from being an outdoor athlete, that is one thing, but to specifically go to a tanning salon with the express purpose to make yourself bronze, you are doing it for sexual purposes.

Really standing back from the entire "sexual merry-go-round" and LOOKING at what is going on is a true eye-opener. Then we wonder why so-called sexual crimes are at an all-time high!

Our culture is awash in sexual innuendo. As a man, you are considered abnormal if you're not constantly "on the prowl". Men are constantly discussing and trying to "one up" each other over their "sexual conquests". Women are forever doing things to their bodies, spending untold amounts of money on what appear to be extremely uncomfortable clothing, just to be the "hottie". When men and women relate, there is a falsity to it, all geared toward flirting and possible sex.

Sex is like any other addiction. The more you have, the more you want and it becomes a very vicious cycle.

Sexual disease is rampant. Not just the true killers like AIDS/HIV, but all manner of odd and bizarre conditions which we all hear about in the media. Pornography, which was once nearly underground, can be found discussed on mainstream TV and other media. Women, who once considered porn actress as the lowest of the low are now emulating them. I was visiting my mother the other day and she was watching some daytime TV talk show where they were discussing "porn sex"! I was rather shocked, to be honest with you all. There are exercise classes which teach women to "pole dance" like is done in strip clubs. I live in Southern California, which is known as the porn capital of the world, and hardly a day goes by that I don't see women dressed like porn stars. Huge boob jobs, super-tight fitting clothing, ridiculous high-heeled shoes, etc., etc.

The worse things is the sexualization of our children! I've seen halloween costumes which basically have little girls dressing up like porn stars! Friends, this is SICK in my opinion!

Personally, I don't really care what people do behind closed doors as it's frankly none of my business. But I DO care that our children are being totally sexualized and exposed to material that would probably make porn stars themselves blush 10 or 20 years ago. It's gotten completely out of hand.

So, for me, the best thing is to completely remove myself from the game, so-to-speak. In doing so, I am able to relate to people in a much more genuine manner without sex always being the undertone.Since that is not at all an issue for me, I'm able to be completely honest and upfront with everyone and, frankly, it's very refreshing.

Of course, I can't expect others to behave as I do. That's just ridiculous. But for me, celibacy works well. And, since we live in such a highly sexualized culture anyway, I find that it doesn't really have any effect on my lust. IOW, it's pretty hard NOT to have something thrown in one's face each and every day that might cause lust.

Just one man's opinion....

Metta,
The flavor of the dhamma exceeds all other flavors

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Yana » Mon Nov 12, 2012 11:38 pm

Life is preparing for Death

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Dan74 » Tue Nov 13, 2012 12:14 am

_/|\_

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Tehuti » Tue Nov 13, 2012 6:46 am


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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Sambojjhanga » Tue Nov 13, 2012 12:35 pm

The flavor of the dhamma exceeds all other flavors

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Sambojjhanga » Tue Nov 13, 2012 12:38 pm

The flavor of the dhamma exceeds all other flavors

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby BubbaBuddhist » Tue Nov 13, 2012 6:05 pm

Live and yearn. :tongue:

BB
Author of Redneck Buddhism: or Will You Reincarnate as Your Own Cousin?

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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby SarathW » Wed Nov 14, 2012 2:33 am

Hi Everyone
This is a great debate! However I will ask the question “What is the final outcome” The answer depend on what you need to achieve. For example you will not be able to attain Nirvana by abstaining from sexual misconduct. This will be a Lokiya Samma Kammantha(as far as I know)
Sexual misconduct come under the Sila (virtue) aspect of NEP which may lead you to Samadhi (concentration) and Panna (wisdom). However, if you develop wisdom it will lead you in to virtues and concentration. I understand there should be a balance among these three factors and they all complement each other. But we should be paying more attention to develop wisdom. This could be the reason that they are the first two limbs of NEP. Your comments are very much appreciated.

(For the benefit of the biginners who read this post)


The Noble Eightfold Path is sometimes divided into three basic divisions, as follows Division

Wisdom (Sanskrit: prajñā, Pāli: paññā)
1. Right view( Superior right knowledge)
2. Right intention( Superior right liberation)

Ethical conduct (Sanskrit: śīla, Pāli: sīla)
3. Right speech
4. Right action
5. Right livelihood

Concentration (Sanskrit and Pāli: samādhi)
6. Right effort
7. Right mindfulness
8. Right concentration
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”


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