Jechbi wrote:. . .
For all of what you have just written, I have a serious problem with it. Proclaiming that you are writing a blog in the spirit of friendship and the like does not really mitigate any of the ongoing criticism of me that pushes, in my opinion, towards character assassination in how you have spun your criticisms.
Of all the members of Dhamma Wheel, the moderation team has given your complaints more time and consideration than those of any other member here, but the results were not to your liking and almost a year later your blog shows up complaining about all that. Certainly your right. Much of what your have written in your blog entries is driven by your hurt feelings, as you made quite clear in your PMs to me, and which becomes clear in reading your blog entries themselves. You might want to ask yourself what role do you play and responsibility do you have in all of this drama. Is all of this negative energy generated by your hurt feelings really necessary for you or anyone else involved?
But let me make this direct, to the point. It was never my intent to be hurtful to you, but that does not excuse my behavior. By acts of commission and omission, for what I pain I have caused you, I am sorry.
Thank you, Tilt.
Some of what you've written here, I can't respond to in thread because it would be a violation of TOS and the report procedure if I were to discuss moderation actions here. With regard to my feelings, you may be surprised to know what my feelings are. As I shared by PM with another member here, even in the midst of our disagreements, Tilt, I have often felt a sense of camaraderie toward you. I can't really explain that feeling. My perspective is that feelings are not-self phenomena, rising and passing away. If and when I have had hurt feelings, I have tried to check them at the door before posting a comment on the blog, or publicly here.
I have certainly asked myself what role and responsibility I play in this drama. I take full responsibility for my own reactions to the circumstances I face.
By the same token, in most of these discussions, publicly and privately, when I have brought things up, the tables always seem to turn and the topic always seems to change so that it's about me, even when I say that I don't want it to be about me. I hope that this following comment does not violate TOS, but the pattern has been that when I try to discuss mod actions, my specific concerns are not addressed, and instead I receive criticism back that calls into questions my own motivations and my own behavior. I don't mind being criticized, Tilt. But if somebody criticizes me, I don't think it's appropriate for me to ignore that criticism and then criticize them back instead, and then to tell them they can't take criticism when they call me on it.
I don't want to get into all the minutiae, because nobody else is going to care. As I've told you privately by PM, I apologize to you for those instances when I've slipped and made a personal jab in the course of our often heated exchanges.
The blog would not have come into existence if Dhamma Wheel had a place on the board where members could offer public criticism of moderator conduct and moderator decisions. I don't see the problem with having that as an option. If people are not interested in that type of meta discussion, then they don't have to read it. But there will be times when the line between "moderator" and "member" is not clear, because of course moderators are going to participate with members in discussions.
In this thread, for example, I'm skirting very close to the line of violating your TOS and report procedures, because I'm talking to some extent about moderator actions. Theoretically, I could be banned for this, although I don't expect that to happen. Likewise, at times when I've responded with legitimate posts, they've been made invisible and I've been warned because part of the post also could be construed as commenting on moderator action. That makes it very difficult sometimes to engage in threads with moderators. I hope you can see why that is so.
Thank you for your hard work, Tilt.