Hi everyone, forgive me if I sound silly saying this but I seem to be in a battle with my brain so to speak.
I am very interested in Buddhist ways, and I am keen to walk this path and I am currently simplifying all I have read and learnt lately, and paring it back to trying to abide by the eightfold path and the five precepts as a place to start in everyday life.
My problem at this moment though, is that my "intellegence" (and I use that term VERY loosely lol) keeps suggesting to me that I am faking it, that there is no real point to this because in the end, we all just die. Full Stop.
I believe in Kamma, the whole cause and effect idea and what not, but I am having issues, fighting with my own mind, about fully trusting or believing in everything because I feel at times like a fraud. As though I am trying to hard to be something
Do any other people have this begginers doubt in themselves? I think I have overloaded my self with books and websites on Buddhism and have confused myself, perhaps I need a teacher to point the way?
I want to be free of this doubt, but perhaps it is my way of needing more knowledge, but I guess at the moment everything I am learning is self taught through books and the internet etc, I feel a bit aimless and, well, lost.
Anything anyone can do to help me will be greatly appreciated, again I apologise for such a newbie issue.