, I also think that perhaps you need to harden up and consider that you are being ....'sensitive'....with your describing the problem.
It's not passion, it's Lust.
It's not self-sex - it's masturbation.
It's not 'inappropriate websites' - it's porn.
Call a spade a damned shovel.
Sometimes, the reality and no-nonsense approach to what we do, can be a better 'cold bucket of water' to our mind, than dressing it up in more flowery terms.
These things, for a lay Buddhist, need not necessarily be hindrances, providing you preceive them for what they are. Distractions to practice, to which one can form an unhealthy attachment.
Lust per se, is not negative, or evil.
Masturbation, per se, is not negative or evil.
Porn, per se, is not negative or evil.
These can be covered by the third precept:
I vow to refrain from indulging in inappropriate sexual behaviour.
The Buddha outlined what that was.
You and your wife are not ordained as a monk and nun.
And sex and Lust are not "sinful".
This Link may help.http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/auth ... el225.html
And on a final note, scroll down, all the way down, and read the very last line.
And exchange the word 'passion' for 'Lust'.
There, you have all you need to know.
From a very simple-minded member.