thatoneguy wrote:um, hi i just want to ask one more question to anybody still replying to this topic just for claryfication. is it just a fact of life that since i'm still pretty young that i still have much to learn and also is it still considered unskilled ,if, when i get angry at people who i feel to be "arogant", the most i do is maybe get worked up in discussion with friends about my feelings. i guess what i'm trying to say is if i make sure to not get in any major conflicts with those whom i disagree, even though i may have strong feelings against "arogant" people, is it still a hinderance in my life according to buddhist teachings. i hope that my question makes sense. thank you for any insights you may have lend me.
TOG, I will simply tell you how it is with me;
Whatever people say, or however they act, remember this:
The interpretation of what or who they are, is yours, and yours alone.
Accuse the boastful of being boastful, the arrogant of being arrogant, the conceited of being conceited, and they will all excuse, deny and justify.
So the impression that they are boastful, arrogant or conceited, will be your perception.
Perception is often Deception.
The important thing is not to note how you perceive them, but to note that you think it to begin with.
See that the factor is not: "this man is arrogant", but rather should be, "I see this man as behaving arrogantly".
Question your perception, and see it as a judgement.
Understand that whatever quality you may perceive in someone, the quality is merely a manifestation of their suffering, their grasping, clinging and unskilful attachment.
People want to be right.
If people want to be right, it's because any other result indicates that they're wrong, and if they're wrong, it means they're not in control of everything that is going on in their lives.
Accept that people need to do this. They need to validate their own existence by having their assertion confirmed. Even through blustering and steam-roller-ing others.
A shrug of the shoulders and a simple "Ok, if that's the way you see it, I'm glad it works for you" can do wonders for both them and you.
remember also my point above, about choosing with whom to consort.
Work out who the wise are, and who the foolish are.
it will mean you extricating yourself from connections with people you have hitherto been close to.
That's an attachment you will have to deal with.