HELP NEEDED!

[path2dhamma]

Guys here is my story.....!
Recently I have attended for 10-day retreat (S.N.Goenka) BUT Left after couple of days. I have already done couple of 10day courses,I felt very embarrassed. Here is the reason why i left. Before I started the first day, evening before it started I was looking fine. And I never make a strong resolution, but I try to let it go.And from day1 a strong numb kind of feeling on my face started, which is persisted long time and could not focus on breath. While doing anapana , the vipassana instructions(not anapana) given by Goenka(however pleasant sensations, unpleasant observe with a calm and quiet mind) lingering in my mind, and hard to conentrate.Later I had strong back pain for long time. And finally had to leave.I felt real embarrassed. And not quiet sure if I can go back some time later as I was a old student. Will they let me go back?I am planning to practice mindfulness, anapana, and vipassana at home. of course the setting is never matched at center. What you guys suggest me? please help me, and I will be posting here in this forum my dayto day experiences. I will try my best keep up sila,samadhi, panna. I hardly practice at home before i go to this a course. And my mindfulness is weak. I have addictions like coffee, internet etc.
Do you think I will be on track if I practice sila,samadhi,panna, mindfulness and go back to the course after some time??
Please advise me
Thanks

[Ben]

If you are practicing within the Goenka tradition, and intend to continue practicing within that tradition, then what you need to do is talk about your recent experiences with an assistant teacher or area teacher - preferably the one who was either conducting the course or the area teacher responsible for your region. You should be able to contact him (or them) via the meditation course where you took your course. There should be an email contact on the page of the course centre where you took your course.

[retrofuturist]

Greetings,

I agree with Ben - you're asking us questions which are probably best directed to staff involved with the Goenka centre.

Best wishes and good luck.

Metta,
Retro.

[Monkey Mind]

Did you negotiate leaving with the instructor, or did you just leave unannounced?

[retrofuturist]

I think i can help you to in touch with meditation.

Could you please let me know one thing?
Why do you meditate
What is your ultimate goal
Do you expect to achieve it within this birth

Please answer above questions
I will sure to help you!!!!
I wish you all success!
Please contact or mail me anyone need advices on Samatha and Vipassana meditation
Please every one try to attain nirvana within this birth. If you are well guided , dedicated you can reap the harvest very soon.
Great Lord Buddha has taught the world a clear path. Do not struggle in going and practicing wrong paths.
Let me help you!!!!