Can you help me to help someone?

[Ngawang Drolma.]

Hi friends, if you visit different forums please forgive this repeat as it's at another site.

I have a dear friend who is struggling with depression, relationship stress, unemployment, and other challenges. She's a smart, nice person and ex-Catholic. She's a little bit leery about religion. She wrote to me and said she's been referred by her therapist to practice mindfulness and meditation.

I'm posting this in the "Discovering Theravada" forum because I'd like advice as to how I could help her, as a beginner to meditation, without being overtly Buddhist about it. Though of course, I am Buddhist. But I want to be careful and not be preachy with her and it's hard for me to think of meditation outside of a Buddhist context.

Any thoughts or input?

Thank you

[Cittasanto]

Try just waiting until she asks, what you tell her could also confuse her as she has someone qualified in a specific treatment method. one teacher at a time.

[Peter]

Ajahn Brahm has a book out called "Mindfulness, Bliss, and Beyond". The first few chapters deal with training the mind to stay in the present moment. I recall there isn't much overtly Buddhist about those chapters. Maybe give that a look and see if it would appeal to your friend.

[Ngawang Drolma.]

Ajahn Brahm has a book out called "Mindfulness, Bliss, and Beyond". The first few chapters deal with training the mind to stay in the present moment. I recall there isn't much overtly Buddhist about those chapters. Maybe give that a look and see if it would appeal to your friend.

Thanks Peter, I just got it at Amazon and it's being shipped to her. I hope it helps her. My friend always reads the books I send her.

Edited to add: She's not overly leery of religion; I sent her a wrist mala a few years ago and she still wears it every day. When I went on retreat last year she was totally fascinated about it.

[Fede]

I posted this reply to you on "another Forum".....

Mindfulness meditation need not refer to any Buddhist theme.
All she has to do is be in the moment.

If she seeks guidance, tell her to simply sit and watch her breath, but not think about sitting watching her breath.
Just observe the action of her body, without thinking "My body is doing such-and-such"....
Just to feel her clothing against her skin, as she breathes in, and as she breathes out, without any commentary as to how her clothing feels against her skin, as she breathes in and as she breathes out....

MIndfulness meditation is being where you are right now.

Tell me what I have mentioned above that could be called "preaching Buddhism".

Hope this helps.

[Tex]

Stating the obvious, what about Ven. Gunaratana's Mindfulness In Plain English?

It's about Buddhist meditation, of course, but I don't feel that it's over-the-top about "Buddhism" at all. Most of the book is nuts-and-bolts basic mindfulness training, and if one wanted to focus on that while putting aside the "Buddhist" parts I don't see why s/he couldn't learn quite a bit from this book.

[AdvaitaJ]

Drolma,

Tell her you heard from someone here on the forum who pointed out that having everything she''s lacking: good job, loving spouse, etc still did not preclude the onset of dangerous depression. Then I suggest you point out that anyone trying to find information about meditation and mindfulness will, in very short order, come face-to-face with Buddhism. When this happens, suggest she ask herself if she can believe in the first noble truth. Then ask if she can understand how the second noble truth does ring with common sense. If she can buy into the first two on the basis of their intuitive merit, what's the harm in giving the third and fourth noble truths a fair hearing.

It worked for me.

Regards: AdvaitaJ

[Ngawang Drolma.]

Wonderful words from all, thanks so much

[appicchato]

Stating the obvious, what about Ven. Gunaratana's Mindfulness In Plain English?

It's about Buddhist meditation, of course, but I don't feel that it's over-the-top about "Buddhism" at all. Most of the book is nuts-and-bolts basic mindfulness training, and if one wanted to focus on that while putting aside the "Buddhist" parts I don't see why s/he couldn't learn quite a bit from this book.

Indeed...you, or she, can download it here...www.urbandharma.org/pdf/mindfulness_in_plain_english.pdf

[Ben]

Hi Drolma

Something that might be useful is The Art of Living by William Hart. The work is based on the Dhamma discourses given during SN Goenka's ten-day vipassana course. The presentation is light on the 'Buddhism' and is designed for the complete newbie and those hesitant about adopting a new religion. It might be available elsewhere as a download, but if not, its at reasonable cost via pariyatti:
http://www.pariyatti.org/Bookstore/prod ... cfm?PC=742
When I attended my teacher's centre in India in 89/90 it was published there for the first time and I returned home with 20 copies which I gave away to friends and family.
Metta

Ben

[Ngawang Drolma.]

Thank you Bhante and Ben! Bhante, I like that link a lot. I'm going to talk to her in the next couple of days and see how she's doing with that first book I got her. The more suggestions the better, I can keep sending her books and she'll keep reading them!

Thanks a lot,
Drolma

[retrofuturist]

Greetings,

The more suggestions the better

The Power of Mindfulness
An Inquiry into the Scope of Bare Attention and the Principal Sources of its Strength
by Nyanaponika Thera
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/auth ... el121.html

Metta,
Retro.

[rowyourboat]

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindful-Way-Thr ... 1593851286