Hi all, I have been practising each day as often as possible, and have come to a new issue that I hope someone can be of help with.
At first, when I sat I would be all over the place mentally. Without realising I would be first having my awareness on an image of my nose breathing, then the sound, then I would lose concentration for a few minutes in thought, then I'd bring it back to the sensation, and within moments it would be back on a visualisation of me breathing.. and so on, jumping around. I don't feel I've particularly progressed in terms of ability in concentration, although I have learnt to get through the issues of restlessness and maintain sitting for the duration I determine at the start.
Jumping to the present, this week I vowed to put in more effort when sitting as I had started to become more about getting through the time, rather than the quality of what I was actually doing.
So this is what I began. When I sit, I clear my mind first. I let my body breath naturally, then begin having my awareness at the sensations of the breath around the nose, not visualising anything, actually staying on the physical sensation, If I realise I am visualising the breath or my nose, I bring it back to the sensation. In the gap between breaths I keep my awareness of the area of sensations. What I have noticed is that after 5 or 6 in and out breaths of doing this.. I begin to get mentally tired.. like a drowziness sets in.. I continue bringing my mind back to the sensation but with each breath the drowziness increases in intensity into almost the sensation you get when you really really want to fall asleep or are about to fall asleep, as it increases it gets harder and harder to keep on the breath until I eventually feel like I'll actually fall asleep so I relent.. my mind jumps around in thoughts for a minute or so as it returns to normal.. the drowziness dissipates very quickly, sometimes here I reapply my awareness to the breath.. for it to happen all over again, othertimes I might lose track completely for 5 minutes before realising I'm not on the breath. Return to it and then it happens all over again. It always seems to happen if I manage to stay on the breath for around 6 to 10 full breaths, other times I might lose awareness before I reach this number and go off on some track of thought.
My question is... am I doing something wrong, or is this just a natural process of my mind being weak in concentration and with each attempt at getting and fighting this drowziness I am making it stronger?
I hope that makes sense.
Thank you for your help
I have just been experimenting with different postures. Up until now I used a small wooden bench to mediate on, just now I tried sitting cross legged on a cushion.. although it was more uncomfortable for my back and groin/hips, I noted that the above drowziness issue was almost non existant. I'm not ready yet to declare this the solution but I hope it is. The only problem is getting up afterward as one of my legs became completley numb!