Thank you some much for sharing your experience. It gladdens me to hear such a story of success and happiness. Does your husband follow a particular path? Do you have common friends who put forth spirituality in their lives?
Could monastic life, or the idea that we may have of it become the object of passion?
Actually, my husband doesn't follow a particular path - but I would say, he has a deeply kind of buddhistic philosophy "inside" without ever hearing the Dhamma (in this life
I remember many years ago...shortly before we adopted our eldest daughter (13 years old now): I had a deep crisis and a lot of fear to die.
My husband and I talked and talked and talked....what is death? What happens after death etc. etc.
I remember very well that one evening we visited an airport just for fun and I felt again this fear. We sat outside and I had my head in his lap and evening came. He told me, he believes in that every thing is connected, everything is a "whole" (?) thing. Difficult to express it in English. And he often said, he doesn't know why he lifes in this world - if he could decide, he never would like to be born, again.
That maybe sounds depressive - but he is absolutely not depressive. He is has a lot of humor, he loves to cheer people up.
Since I confess myself to Buddhism, he is supporting me and he already became in touch with the Dhamma. We are meditating together. At the moment I do not want to go to deep inside this issue, but I started to conduct a little close friends in meditation (a long story) - people who trust me and people, I trust.
And I was amazed about what there turned out, although I always thought I know "everything" about him.
Recently he went with me to a Dhamma talk and he was really interested in.
It starts that he is asking me things like: "What is Metta? What does this mean, what does that mean?"
And he is thinking about the "Self" in a way, that also absolutely amazed me.
But what I assume is:
if I shouldn't die before my husband, I never, never would get married again.
If my children are grown up and I should be "alone"....I would go to a monastry. I lived my life, I raised my children and nothing in this world maybe couldn't hold be back to go to a monastry or at least to try it.
I had everything I needed - nothing more would wait for me.
I hope this doesn't sound too paradox....it is so difficult to express it in the internet and in another language.