For those in relationships...

Exploring Theravāda's connections to other paths - what can we learn from other traditions, religions and philosophies?
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Pablo
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 10:02 pm
Location: Madrid (Spain)
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Re: For those in relationships...

Post by Pablo »

Hi Lazy_eye, thanks for starting this thread. Everyone's answers have been great, and I surely will show your posts to my girlfriend, to comment it with her.

Before I answer your questions, when I started practising Buddhism I was under the idea that this Ariyan search would make EVERYTHING softer, cooler, simpler. That inclues work, family and, of course, partners. So, for me, it was obvious that my practice would make me a truly desirable partner :tongue: as I would have little needs, wouldn't need to satisfy my desires and, in a nutshell, would be the perfect son-in-law every mom wants for her daughter :jumping:
Lazy_eye wrote:Is your spouse or significant other also practicing Buddhism?
Nope, she's a Christian.
If not, how does he/she regard your practice? Do any concerns come up, and if so, how do you address them?
She also meditates from time to time (some kind of Yogi meditation that helps her get some insight into her problems when she feels stressed and anxious), so she thinks meditation will make me a better person (which supposedly does), and a calmer and more understanding partner (so far, she's pretty satisfied about that :smile: ).
There have been concerns, of course, mainly because our age difference (she's 5 years older than me) and because of my former doubts to ordain; moreover, there were some problems when I shared with her the probable future when I will have less sexual desire. But we've talked through them all: I'm lucky she's so charming and willing to listen and understand my circumstances (as I am to understand hers), and accept my path, as she knows it is what motivates my life (or should motivate: she has also remembered this to me some times that I've been lost).
However, we've been together for a short time, so this could be unsignificant. I'll come back in 5 years and tell you how it is going :tongue: (although I'm pretty optimistic).
How easy do you find it to integrate your practice and your relationship?
Really easy. She understands (and somewhat admires, I guess) my dedication to meditation, and respects that. She doesn't want to be an obstacle to my practice, so she makes great efforts to control her fears and insecurities to let me meditate whenever I want to...either I'm really in love with her, or she's truly lovely. I guess all this is so easy because we are willing to make the effort, and for that, I consider myself lucky (that, or I have a hell of a good kamma :tongue: )
Thanks in advance for your thoughts on this..
Thanks to you for asking :anjali:

May all beings be happy
:anjali:
lonewolf
Posts: 117
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2014 11:10 pm

Re: For those in relationships...

Post by lonewolf »

Lazy_eye wrote:Is your spouse or significant other also practicing Buddhism? If not, how does he/she regard your practice? Do any concerns come up, and if so, how do you address them?

How easy do you find it to integrate your practice and your relationship?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts on this..

:namaste:

LE
I'm not in a relationship any more, but when I was, it was an issue. She couldn't care less for Buddhism, and saw me as dispassionate about this "beautiful life", not egaged, liking solitude too much, without the ambition to get all the stuff people get, without the ambinion to become "somebody", and on, and on, and on.

Long story short, she is happy now, and I got my freedom back. Not planning to do this dance again at least this lifetime.
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