Wrong speech on this forum

[retrofuturist]

Good morning, Mrs. Fede.

Metta,
Retro.

[Fede]

We had an employee at work who used to regularly punctuate the day with long, drawn-out anecdotes about pretty much anything pointless.... so one day, I asked her politely, to consider first, of what use this information was to her, and then, of what possible use it might be to us.
"There is charm in silence, and wisdom in the unspoken word" I explained. (Don't ask me where that came from. I think I made it up, but doubtless it's re-worked from somewhere.)

Some time later, she approached me, and opened her mouth to speak...paused, then said, "You know, I just had something I wanted to tell you, but I realised how utterly pointless it is." And laughing, she walked away.

I think if we were to apply the same premise to everything we think of saying, it would be a lot quieter, over all......

Mouth and ears - use in proportion. Then use Mind to consider whether portion worth the effort.

Ok, I'm done.



PS: Good Morning Mr Retro.
Nice to see you again.

[PeterB]

Buon giorno Fede..

[Fede]

Ciao tesoro. Mi sei mancato.

[PeterB]

Ciao tesoro. Mi sei mancato.

Mi sei mancata cosi tanto....Hows married life ?

[Fede]

married life is ok.
After so long, getting used to a new surname is odd.... Like crossing your arms the opposite way....

Living with a newly-acquired 16-year-old step-son is a bigger learning curve.....

(Is being off-topic part of Wrong Speech?)

[PeterB]

My fault...

[Fede]

Actually, living with people who test your patience (and basically every precept you're trying to build your life on) is a pretty good environment for watching what comes out of your mouth.
Because everything that comes out of your mouth, has to come to Mind, first.
Wrong Speech doesn't begin with what we say.
It begins with what we think of saying.
That's where you have to know when to apply the brake.

[Tex]

While we, as Buddhists, strive to practice right speech ourselves, it might be just as beneficial to take others' wrong speech with as much equanimity as we can muster.

Life's too short to dwell on things we can't control anyway.

[Kim O'Hara]

While we, as Buddhists, strive to practice right speech ourselves, it might be just as beneficial to take others' wrong speech with as much equanimity as we can muster.

Indeed. There's a 'Speech Blessing' meditation in the Vajrayana tradition which I have found useful. It includes:

Mindfulness gives me the power to control the use of my own speech
And the wisdom not to be adversely affected by other people's verbal abuse
By understanding it as expressions of their mental suffering.

When other people are unable to use their speech skillfully,
May I develop empathy to remain calm, focused and patient
So that they will be relieved of their suffering.

Kim

[Spiny O'Norman]

Hello friends
Just a short post to say that, though I appreciate this forum very much, I'm a bit disappointed by the way some here write to others. Indeed, some speak with harsh words, wanting to be right at all cost, and being sarcastic.

I've had the same thoughts.

Spiny

[ground]

-

[tiltbillings]

My apologies for interrupting the penis waving contest now in progress. Despite the large amount of antagonistic noise on DW ( some of it coming from some of the admins in addition to the readers ) I've found some really useful gems among the posts.

he said, adding to the noise of which he complains.

One of the oddly interesting things I have seen over the time I have been online from 300 baud modems to now is the pointy complaints about pointy exchanges, which simply adds further to the pointyness of what may be going on.

But, however, the point made here, by J4, beyond the real or imagined pointyness one might find in an exchange is an excellent point may be missed by taking the real or imagined pointyness of an exchange as being the point. We may need to forgive ourselves and our brothers and sisters their small failings in this regard in order to get to the real point. As Gandhi said: "We need to be the change we wish to see in the world [or in this small electronic world in which engage]."

[Ben]

Moderator Note:

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[Jaidyn]

Do not write posts with sarcasm directly or indirectly.

What is the point of sarcasm? Anyone defending it from a Buddhist standpoint?

Sarcasm is just evidence of the shortcomings in the person expressing it, and even more: an indication that the person expressing sarcasm is not aware of it, or not insightful enough to abandon it. Any belief in the own spiritual progress that is concurrent with expressions of sarcasm must be questioned as a self-delusion. A mind giving rise to sarcasm is not a mind of wisdom, and a mind of non-wisdom believing it has spiritual progress is extensively deluded.

[Jhana4]

Another opinion is that sarcasm is the result of people feeling like they have been silenced or feeling like they have not been heard.

[m0rl0ck]

There are a couple of posters on this forum who imo almost always go for the inane or provacative. They are on my foe list so i never have to see their posts if im logged in.

Come to think of it, if you could add mods to the ignore list this forum would be just about perfect.

[Dan74]

If I could add myself to the ignore list this forum would be almost perfect. Hell, I even tried banning myself once when I was a mod on another forum but it didn't work dammit!

(oops, "inane" you said, eh? I think I just made it to that list... )

[tiltbillings]

Come to think of it, if you could add mods to the ignore list this forum would be just about perfect.

It is good to see you feel we are doing a good job. We try and it is not always easy, but there is an easy answer to your mods problem: If the name is red or green, ignore the msg that goes with it.

[m0rl0ck]

Come to think of it, if you could add mods to the ignore list this forum would be just about perfect.

It is good to see you feel we are doing a good job. We try and it is not always easy, but there is an easy answer to your mods problem: If the name is red or green, ignore it.

Actually i do think you all do a pretty good job considering what you ahve to deal with. No offense intended, just having a little fun