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Lazy_eye
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Re: Need help to overcome lust

Postby Lazy_eye » Wed Oct 26, 2011 5:28 pm


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Zom
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Re: Need help to overcome lust

Postby Zom » Wed Oct 26, 2011 6:42 pm


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Lazy_eye
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Re: Need help to overcome lust

Postby Lazy_eye » Wed Oct 26, 2011 8:09 pm


santa100
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Re: Need help to overcome lust

Postby santa100 » Wed Oct 26, 2011 8:44 pm


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manas
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Re: Need help to overcome lust

Postby manas » Wed Oct 26, 2011 10:43 pm

I have found this really helpful, too:

How does one guard the sense doors? Herein, a monk, having seen a form, does not seize upon its (delusive) appearance as a whole, nor on its details. If his sense of sight were uncontrolled, covetousness, grief and other evil, unwholesome states would flow into him. Therefore he practices for the sake of its control, he watches over the sense of sight, he enters upon its control. Having heard a sound... smelt an odor... tasted a taste... felt a touch... cognized a mental object, he does not seize upon its (delusive) appearance as a whole... he enters upon its control.

— SN 35:120


This implies that we have to maintain watchfulness all day, because as laypersons we are going to see and interact with many women through the day. So instead of letting our minds (as it is their habit to automatically do) immediately zero in on the particular aspects of the female form that we find most alluring - each will have their own - we restrain ourselves from that. It's like undoing a habit one has had since teenage years, but if we are serious about the practice, I guess we will have to bite the bullet and take it on - even if we have a girlfriend or a wife, we need to curb the mind's habit of always rushing out into the pleasing aspects of sense objects. (sorry ladies, I know you are more than just that, and just reverse everything - our male bodies are 'sense objects' too, from your perspective).

:namaste:
Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

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mikenz66
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Re: Need help to overcome lust

Postby mikenz66 » Thu Oct 27, 2011 2:48 am

Hi manasikara,

See also this sutta:
SN 35.127: Bharadvaja Sutta viewtopic.php?f=25&t=8500#p132726

:anjali:
Mike

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Zom
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Re: Need help to overcome lust

Postby Zom » Thu Oct 27, 2011 8:39 am


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manas
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Re: Need help to overcome lust

Postby manas » Thu Oct 27, 2011 8:36 pm

Mike - thanks for the link. :thumbsup: Zom - that's just what I do myself (when I am having another go at calming lust for a while). In my experience, when I make an actual intention-determination to stop gratifying myself sexually for a while (for the sake of improved meditation - there has to be a 'carrot' somewhere, otherwise the mind will tire of it and rebel, IME), a few interesting things happen. 1. Although I have stopped 'checking out' attractive women, they seem to begin checking out me. 2. After a few days of abstinence, where I have restrained the mind from indulging in thoughts (or in looking at the pleasing features of) attractive women, their 'beauty' increases a bit in my perception, calling on me to, as you pointed out, bring in 'weapon number 2': asubha. Like yourself, I only do this if my mind has lost the initial battle (not to look (with an unguarded mind) in the first place!). Only yesterday I was temporarily bewildered due to just this...alas I had to do the visualization where I take the form apart in my mind, 'seeing' how the skin is actually greyish white (it is only pinkish due to blood flowing under it), how the hair of the head is formed out of blood (I suppose just about the whole body is, as the blood is what supplies the nutrients for growth - a monk once told me about this), how the skin is penetrated by countless tiny, hidden nerve rootlets coming up from underneath...and we haven't even gone into the bodily cage (the skeleton yet), and all the organs it houses! IMHO asubha contemplation is not for everyone, and should be undertaken with care. It could easily lead to aversion, which is not what we are looking for. Like you said, Zom, I use it only when necessary to calm the body-mind if it becomes 'overheated'.

:namaste:
Last edited by manas on Fri Oct 28, 2011 12:32 am, edited 3 times in total.
Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

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daverupa
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Re: Need help to overcome lust

Postby daverupa » Thu Oct 27, 2011 10:19 pm

Here's going over some neurochemical basics. It makes for interesting reading, and may help put things in perspective. Sex is, basically, a biologically hardwired heroin addiction.

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Pondera
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Re: Naughty posts (topic number = 489)

Postby Pondera » Fri Oct 28, 2011 3:49 pm


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Pondera
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Re: Naughty posts (topic number = 489)

Postby Pondera » Fri Oct 28, 2011 4:19 pm


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daverupa
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Re: Naughty posts (topic number = 489)

Postby daverupa » Fri Oct 28, 2011 4:47 pm


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Pondera
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Re: Naughty posts (topic number = 489)

Postby Pondera » Fri Oct 28, 2011 5:35 pm


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daverupa
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Re: Need help to overcome lust

Postby daverupa » Fri Oct 28, 2011 5:55 pm

Sure thing, Pondera. Whatever papanca you like.

:focus:

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Pondera
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Re: Need help to overcome lust

Postby Pondera » Sat Oct 29, 2011 2:09 am


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Soe Win Htut
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Re: Need help to overcome lust

Postby Soe Win Htut » Sat Oct 29, 2011 3:28 am

Dear friend,

To abandon the lust or a habitual deeds.

1) Accept whatever mind such as lust, desire, thinking, feeling, sensation or emotion as created truth which is fake and fraud nature.(Sammuti Sacca).

2) Understand that the created truth is unreal and not a real existence because it is temporary, inconstant, impermanent and non-self.

3) Accept that created truths are just to be used for the practice of abandonment (Letting go).

4) At first, be aware of the mind-action of centering, and believing the current arising mind & body (or) created truths as reality so that we can abandon it.

5) But we do not try to abandon directly the arising mind such as a thinking, lust, craving, an agitation or a negative thought which is just a created truth. We must neither indulge nor reject it directly. It is just to be used only or experiened only for the practice of abandonment (Letting go).

6) And then try to abandon the mind-action of emphasizing and centering and believing the arising mind as reality which is accompanying behind the arising mind such as a thinking, lust, craving, an agitation or a negative thought.

if possible, meditate daily as much as you can with the help of insight guided meditation at below link :
Awareness(mental noting) alone is not enough for enlightenment. (Ashin Tejaniya)
Created truths(Sammuti Sacca) are just to be used only, experienced only and known onlyWithout rejecting and attaching them with the idea of reality.
Vipassana (Insight meditation) is changing from the volitional action to action-only, attachment to detachment, misunderstanding to right understanding.
To Learn more....
http://www.thabarwa.org, or
http://www.thabarwa.org/guided-insight-mp3-talks/

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Pondera
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Re: Naughty posts (topic number = 489)

Postby Pondera » Sat Oct 29, 2011 4:27 am


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Ben
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Re: Need help to overcome lust

Postby Ben » Sat Oct 29, 2011 4:32 am

No problems Pondera. In future you may wish to quote and cite rather than rely on memory.
kind regards

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

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manas
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Re: Need help to overcome lust

Postby manas » Mon Nov 14, 2011 2:43 am

Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

Memmz
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Re: Need help to overcome lust

Postby Memmz » Thu Nov 24, 2011 2:37 am

You should try contacting your doctor and ask for drugs that will inhibit this.


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