Hi santa,santa100 wrote:Beside the good plan about outdoor activities, make sure the next time she does this to you, be very firm and clear to her that this behavior is absolutely un-acceptable and will not be tolerated. Everytime you walk away from this, you virtually help her re-inforce a very negative habit. And when somethings' became a habit, it'd be very difficult to fix it later on. Use whatever appropriate disciplinary actions to make sure she's learned her lesson. A tough dad and a compassionate dad dont' have to be mutually exclusive. She might not appreciate it now, but later on in life, the disciplines you taught her will be invaluable to her adulthood life, whether graduating from college, finding a job, getting married, dealing with other people, etc..There're countless instances about young adults who're living messed-up adult life just because their parents spoiled them when they were kids. Who do you think companies would hire between 2 college graduates: a spoiled brat or a nice decent one?Manasikara wrote:
Sometimes when she yells I just walk away, I'm getting sick of always telling her off about the yelling. Just walk away...
of course I have boundaries. She knows what they are...if she calls me a bad name, she loses the internet for a whole day, for example (and for her age group, that's, like, 'ouch!'), and I actually follow through on that, too...what I meant about sometimes just walking away, is when we just keep arguing and it's getting a bit ego-based, in the sense that it's a power struggle between me (inwardly) wishing she was the girl she once was, and her wishing I would not be so old-fashioned and irritating. That's where I should just let her have the last word and drop it...but certainly not if any of my strict rules have been broken, I certainly do not let her get away with those. I was a bit vague about just 'walking off', I did not mean 'let her get away with verbal abuse', no way...
I appreciate everyone's input but I really feel this has progressed quite far enough...I've got some great advices from all of you, thank you...but I'm also realizing that just venting all that I did that day, by writing my initial post in frustration, was very therapeutic, but that emotion passed long ago...it's a different world now, I'm moving on...
Thank you all
.