Self-Esteem?

A discussion on all aspects of Theravāda Buddhism
Post Reply
Individual
Posts: 1970
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 2:19 am

Self-Esteem?

Post by Individual »

What is the Buddhist position on "self esteem"? Is there any comparable notion in the Tipitaka? Does Buddhism reject self esteem as a bad thing?

In terms of its outward appearance, one could draw comparisons between Saddha (meaning confidence or faith) and self-esteem, but there is a difference that self-esteem is confidence in one's self or a sense of self-worth. Saddha, on the other hand, is confidence or faith in the Buddha's teachings, or a sense of knowing their worth.
The best things in life aren't things.

The Diamond Sutra
User avatar
retrofuturist
Posts: 27839
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:52 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Self-Esteem?

Post by retrofuturist »

Greetings Individual,
Individual wrote:What is the Buddhist position on "self esteem"? Is there any comparable notion in the Tipitaka? Does Buddhism reject self esteem as a bad thing?
Whilst there is ignorance there will be perception of self.

I would suggest that "self esteem" in the context of Buddhism signifies an absence of aversion towards that deluded perception of self.

Metta,
Retro. :)
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
User avatar
Jechbi
Posts: 1268
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 3:38 am
Contact:

Re: Self-Esteem?

Post by Jechbi »

I visited all quarters with my mind
Nor found I any dearer than myself;
Self is likewise to every other dear;
Who loves himself may never harm another.
Ud 47, translated by Ven. Ñanamoli
Rain soddens what is kept wrapped up,
But never soddens what is open;
Uncover, then, what is concealed,
Lest it be soddened by the rain.
User avatar
Ordinaryperson
Posts: 109
Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2009 12:09 pm
Location: West

Re: Self-Esteem?

Post by Ordinaryperson »

Individual wrote:What is the Buddhist position on "self esteem"? Is there any comparable notion in the Tipitaka? Does Buddhism reject self esteem as a bad thing?

In terms of its outward appearance, one could draw comparisons between Saddha (meaning confidence or faith) and self-esteem, but there is a difference that self-esteem is confidence in one's self or a sense of self-worth. Saddha, on the other hand, is confidence or faith in the Buddha's teachings, or a sense of knowing their worth.
I always consider the notion of "self esteem" in the western terminology to associate with sense of strong negative emotional ego or at least to unknowingly generate more strong ego of self that tends to enhance or to reinforce the competitive nature of a person. In another word, the western terminology of "self esteem" essentially is in the danger of creating more craving/desire/greed in my view.

Through out my life I have never considered the term "self esteem" until the "management gurus" started banging on the term "self esteem" to all that are learning to "manage" or to improve on ones' competitiveness nature at the expense of others. I only use the term "self esteem" as a form of communication or in explaining to others about certain issues that I feel is the closest possible way for me to describe and to make them understand a particular matter. I am always mindful of the using the term "self esteem" as I know there is a tendency one might take it to the extreme by focusing on "me, me, me" or "me come first".

The application of the term "self esteem" to myself is basically a measurement of my understanding in Buddha's teaching and how closely I can adhere to them but the "management gurus" started to spoil the party by injecting some extras for me to think about. My intention when I am using the term "self esteem" has always been trying to rely on what Buddha would say if the same situation was presented to him. So at the back of my mind when using the term "self esteem" (I don't like that term to be frank and always throw caution when I use them when I speak to others) I try to remember the five precepts and the noble eightfold path. Alternatively, I just substitute the term "self esteem" with the term "principles" as at least the latter term you can set the parameter of what is right or wrong, while the former can only encourage one to think more of him/herself which may lead to Unwholesome Roots.

Yes, self esteem = greed in my opinion in western terminology.

:smile:
-------------------------------------------------------------------
~Actively trying to destroy the Three Unwholesome Roots of Greed, Hatred and Ignorance~
~ Greed is the greatest danger of them all ~
User avatar
Jechbi
Posts: 1268
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 3:38 am
Contact:

Re: Self-Esteem?

Post by Jechbi »

Here's another reference:
I have heard that on one occasion the Blessed One was staying near Savatthi, in Jeta's Grove, Anathapindika's monastery. Now at that time King Pasenadi Kosala was together with Queen Mallika in the upper palace. Then he said to her, "Is there anyone more dear to you than yourself?"

"No, your majesty," she answered. "There is no one more dear to me than myself. And what about you, your majesty? Is there anyone more dear to you than yourself?"

"No, Mallika. There is no one more dear to me than myself."

Then the king, descending from the palace, went to the Blessed One and, on arrival, having bowed down to him, sat to one side. As he was sitting there, he said to the Blessed One: "Just now I was together with Queen Mallika in the upper palace. I said to her, 'Is there anyone more dear to you than yourself?'

"'No, your majesty,' she answered. 'There is no one more dear to me than myself. And what about you, your majesty? Is there anyone more dear to you than yourself?'

"'No, Mallika. There is no one more dear to me than myself.'"

Then, on realizing the significance of that, the Blessed One on that occasion exclaimed:

Searching all directions
with one's awareness,
one finds no one dearer
than oneself.
In the same way, others
are fiercely dear to themselves.
So one should not hurt others
if one loves oneself.
Rain soddens what is kept wrapped up,
But never soddens what is open;
Uncover, then, what is concealed,
Lest it be soddened by the rain.
User avatar
Ordinaryperson
Posts: 109
Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2009 12:09 pm
Location: West

Re: Self-Esteem?

Post by Ordinaryperson »

Jechbi,

Only if the "management gurus" follow the advice of Buddha.

:D

P/s: My understanding of the term "dear to myself" is completely different from "self esteem". The former is what I was taught as a kid but the latter was taught by "management gurus" while studying at the university.
Last edited by Ordinaryperson on Sun Apr 26, 2009 1:50 am, edited 2 times in total.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
~Actively trying to destroy the Three Unwholesome Roots of Greed, Hatred and Ignorance~
~ Greed is the greatest danger of them all ~
floating_abu
Posts: 94
Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2009 8:50 pm

Re: Self-Esteem?

Post by floating_abu »

Individual wrote:What is the Buddhist position on "self esteem"?
Hello Individual

It would be by verifying the matter of self.

From a Theravadan perspective, the Buddha's teachings on anatta are relevant to a degree. And I say "relevant to a degree" because in and by itself even the most accurate intellectual comprehension of anatta is insufficient - i.e. it is nothing more than the intellect trying to grasp its own position and like a dog chasing its tail, it is not a satisfactory course, I understand.

The Buddha's outline of the path is the Eightfold Path and the development of kindness and meditation (attention) are key to that end.

In verifying the matter of self (not through a mere intellectual appreciation or discussion) matters like self-esteem, high and low or otherwise, naturally fall away.

With regards to self, the Buddha did teach that thinking oneself is better, worse or the same as another is still a matter of conceit. I understand this to be an encouragement to not stop short.

Hope this helps.

Abu
Last edited by floating_abu on Sun Apr 26, 2009 2:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
pink_trike
Posts: 1130
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 7:29 am
Contact:

Re: Self-Esteem?

Post by pink_trike »

In Western psychotherapeutic thought, greed would be regarded as a symptom of a lack of self-esteem. It is a futile attempt to compensate for some type of alienation from self and the world - mistakenly attempting to fill an internal void by manipulating external circumstances for material gain.

There are as many definitions of self-esteem in the West as there are flavors of ice cream, but all share to a certain extent the idea of self-value in relationship to the larger community. Knowing what one's value is to self and others. Having a fluid sense of agency and place. It is a by-product of an effective integration within oneself and with the external world.
Vision is Mind
Mind is Empty
Emptiness is Clear Light
Clear Light is Union
Union is Great Bliss

- Dawa Gyaltsen

---

Disclaimer: I'm a non-religious practitioner of Theravada, Mahayana/Vajrayana, and Tibetan Bon Dzogchen mind-training.
Individual
Posts: 1970
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 2:19 am

Re: Self-Esteem?

Post by Individual »

retrofuturist wrote:Greetings Individual,
Individual wrote:What is the Buddhist position on "self esteem"? Is there any comparable notion in the Tipitaka? Does Buddhism reject self esteem as a bad thing?
Whilst there is ignorance there will be perception of self.

I would suggest that "self esteem" in the context of Buddhism signifies an absence of aversion towards that deluded perception of self.

Metta,
Retro. :)
That makes sense, I guess. And arrogance and egoism would be attachment?
Jechbi wrote:Here's another reference
Thanks for sharing the full sutta.
The best things in life aren't things.

The Diamond Sutra
User avatar
Rui Sousa
Posts: 366
Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:01 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: Self-Esteem?

Post by Rui Sousa »

When people have hate towards their body or mind, or act in careless ways that damage their mind or body, I usually call that lack of self-esteem.

Esteem towards this body and this mind seems to me as a good thing to do.
With Metta
User avatar
retrofuturist
Posts: 27839
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:52 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Self-Esteem?

Post by retrofuturist »

Greetings Individual,
Individual wrote:And arrogance and egoism would be attachment?
Yes, in the form of conceit (mana).

Metta,
Retro. :)
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
rowyourboat
Posts: 1952
Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:29 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: Self-Esteem?

Post by rowyourboat »

I am reminded of the higher fetters- there is high self esteem and low self esteem and comparing onesself with others as equal -all are to be abandoned.

while there is no direct mentioning of the term 'confidence' as far as I am aware, things like energy, determination, being 'upright' often talked about in the suttas suggest that it must be present. So perhaps the concept didnt exist in ancient india but existed in their descriptions of how a person was supposed to practice the dhamma.

with metta
With Metta

Karuna
Mudita
& Upekkha
User avatar
Rui Sousa
Posts: 366
Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:01 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: Self-Esteem?

Post by Rui Sousa »

In Portuguese the translation for self-esteem is 'auto-estima', which seems less egocentric.

I see it as auto-metta, and as something benign, but it seems that in the english language it gets a completely different connotation.
With Metta
Post Reply