Aloka wrote:You can just be strong and say 'No' to the drugs and alcohol. It's not as hard as you think it is - just do it ! If your friends are real friends they'll respect your decision and still want to see you. Maybe in time they'll even come to be inspired by your example.
Believe it or not, I have decided to be abstinent Yesterday. I was thinking about it for a long time and had many periods
in life when I was abstinent. I can't say 'No' only when hanging out with my old friends from the childhood,
but when alone or with other people I don't need it at all. So I decided that I'm going to hang out with them maybe only when
they are not using drugs or alcohol. In fact, somehow I don't feel the connection with them like before, we are now totally
different kind of persons, but anyway It's hard to break these long-lasting relationships.
Moth wrote:I used to use intoxicants. Since becoming a Buddhist, I first gave up alcohol and then overtime all drugs. My friends still use intoxicants but respect me for my decision. If your friends will not hang out with you unless you indulge with them then they are likely not good friends, and as the Buddha says, isolation would be preferable. I can tell you with full confidence that maintaining Sila is a bliss far beyond anything an intoxicant can provide. Why? The bliss of intoxicants is impermanent, unsatisfying, and riddled with shame. Sila is something no one can take away from you. Also, if you believe in karma and vipaka, I for one would be afraid of using intoxicants, especially alcohol, as the Buddha specifically warned against it and the results it would ensure.
They would always respect my decision with absolutely no problem, but the problem is that
I just can't say 'No' to myself when they are doing it in front of me. To be honest, they are good people and doing their best to
be faithful friends, which makes it even more difficult to break the relationship with them. But If I'm
going to have to much difficulties in being abstinent, then the isolation from them is going to be the best choice.
Thing that makes me confident that I'm going to remain abstinent is that now when I have the most
money and many places to go I just decided to stay home with my familly, not going out for the Christmas Eve and also
decided to go nowhere for the New Year's Eve. So if I can do it for the holidays,
when the most action is out in the city, then I can do it always.
Thanks to all for advice