Porn Free for 90 Days

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Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby dhamma_newb » Tue Feb 21, 2012 4:47 pm

Hi all,

I came across this website called http://yourbrainonporn.com/ and realized I wanted to cut out all fantasy, porn, masturbation, and orgasm for 90 days and see what would happen in my life. I know this will be quite a challenge so hopefully posting this here will help me to succeed. Thank you.

With Metta,
Don
The watched mind brings happiness.
Dhp 36

I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness.
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby tiltbillings » Tue Feb 21, 2012 5:04 pm

It always surprises me that people talk about these things in front of god and everybody.

Whatever the case, good luck and I hope you get a firm grip on this issue of yours so that it arises no longer.
This being is bound to samsara, kamma is his means for going beyond.
SN I, 38.

Ar scáth a chéile a mhaireas na daoine.
People live in one another’s shelter.

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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby David2 » Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:30 pm

I watched the "Your Brain On Porn Series" on that site, and I think it was worth it.
I saw many parallels to the teachings of the Buddha. The videos offer a good explanantion how the craving circle works in the brain. The more often you indulge in stimuluses, the less satisfaction you will get in the long run because the receptors of the receiving synapsises get fewer to compensate the higher dopamine output. So the craving increases, you want more but get less satisfaction.

A good advice in the videos was to not indulge in fantasies, but to concentrate on sensations which could very well come from a Buddhist teacher.

Good luck to you DN with your efforts.
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby RMSmith » Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:48 pm

tiltbillings wrote: I hope you get a firm grip on this issue of yours so that it arises no longer.



Intentional choices of words, sir? :rofl:
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby perkele » Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:09 pm

RMSmith wrote:
tiltbillings wrote: I hope you get a firm grip on this issue of yours so that it arises no longer.



Intentional choices of words, sir? :rofl:



You're a funny one.


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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Buckwheat » Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:41 pm

so that it arises no longer... hahahahahahahahaha :jumping: :toilet:

I think it is a tragedy that so many people think that the potential embarassment of a frank discussion is worth repressing discussion of a sexual nature. How very Victorian. Here in California, and I assume Western Nevada, sex is discussed pretty openly. Sometimes it gets inappropriate, but for the most part I think it removes some of the "bad boy" impulse from lust, making it a little (but just a little) easier to overcome lust.

That being said, good luck to you, RMSmith. Cutting porn from the diet is definitely a positive thing. When I cut porn from my diet, it almost seemed to make lust worse for a few weeks, but after a while it helped the visual aspect of lust fade a bit. It's still hard to walk down the street and see a beautiful woman on a warm day with short shorts and her cleavage popping out her shirt without having at least a modicum of lust, but at least I can now quickly turn my focus back to the breath instead of letting my jaw hit the sidewalk.

I believe in talking about things. If you are working with lust, one must discuss lust. Buddha said that if lust was any more powerful he may not have found enlightenment. It's tough and we all need a little help. Hopefully we can all move beyond.
Sotthī hontu nirantaraṃ - May you forever be well.
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Sam Vara » Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:52 pm

I thought that it said

"Free Porn for 90 Days".

There's always a catch in these offers, though, isn't there?
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby RMSmith » Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:54 pm

Buckwheat wrote:That being said, good luck to you, RMSmith.



Ummm ... I'm not the OP. But thanks anyway. :smile:
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Ben » Tue Feb 21, 2012 11:42 pm

Dear members,
Please ensure to remain on-topic. Off-topic posts inc. metadiscussion is routinely removed without warning and is subject to unwanted moderator attention.
Thanks for your cooperation.

Ben
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby dhamma_newb » Wed Feb 22, 2012 12:41 am

tiltbillings wrote:Whatever the case, good luck and I hope you get a firm grip on this issue of yours so that it arises no longer.


Thanks tilt I can always count on you to give me a laugh or two.

David2 wrote:I watched the "Your Brain On Porn Series" on that site, and I think it was worth it.
I saw many parallels to the teachings of the Buddha. The videos offer a good explanantion how the craving circle works in the brain. The more often you indulge in stimuluses, the less satisfaction you will get in the long run because the receptors of the receiving synapsises get fewer to compensate the higher dopamine output. So the craving increases, you want more but get less satisfaction.

A good advice in the videos was to not indulge in fantasies, but to concentrate on sensations which could very well come from a Buddhist teacher.

Good luck to you DN with your efforts.


That is exactly what i was thinking when I watched the series. I think Gary Wilson's scientific explanation of craving will help many understand how the brain works when desires arise. I think that the field of neuroscience is doing an excellent job educating us on the role the brain plays in our lives which helps us make better, more informed choices. Thanks David2.

Buckwheat wrote:but for the most part I think it removes some of the "bad boy" impulse from lust, making it a little (but just a little) easier to overcome lust.

Especially if you grew up Catholic!

I believe in talking about things. If you are working with lust, one must discuss lust. Buddha said that if lust was any more powerful he may not have found enlightenment. It's tough and we all need a little help. Hopefully we can all move beyond.


Thanks for sharing Buckwheat, I appreciate it.

Sam Vega wrote:I thought that it said

"Free Porn for 90 Days".


Lol that's what's been getting me into trouble in the first place!

The watched mind brings happiness.
Dhp 36

I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness.
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby perkele » Wed Feb 22, 2012 5:14 am

dhamma_newb wrote:
David2 wrote:A good advice in the videos was to not indulge in fantasies, but to concentrate on sensations which could very well come from a Buddhist teacher.

Good luck to you DN with your efforts.

That is exactly what i was thinking when I watched the series. I think Gary Wilson's scientific explanation of craving will help many understand how the brain works when desires arise. I think that the field of neuroscience is doing an excellent job educating us on the role the brain plays in our lives which helps us make better, more informed choices. Thanks David2.

Really? Make better, more informed choices? So you're going to choose how your brain reacts the next time a voluptuous nymph is throwing herself at you (maybe in your dreams) or you see barely dressed women on tv or in notorious internet advertisements, based on scientific information of how your brain works? :lol:

Let's better enjoy some decent asubha-kammatthāna:

Coronal flythrough of the female pelvis:
http://vhp.med.umich.edu/PelvisCorA4b.mov
http://vhp.med.umich.edu/VHPelBB.rm
http://vhp.med.umich.edu/CPelvis.wmv

Sagittal flythrough of the female pelvis:
http://vhp.med.umich.edu/sag4.mov

Transverse flythrough of the female pelvis:
http://vhp.med.umich.edu/trans4.mov

Some more on http://vhp.med.umich.edu/movies2.html

I think that is more useful information for dealing with lust than theory about how your brain works.
Aren't these videos amazing?

Next time a madman threatens you with a knife at your throat, will you run or will you say to yourself: "Oh my amygdala is just massively overstimulated at the moment, so I'm freezing in terror. No big deal."

Buckwheat wrote:but for the most part I think it removes some of the "bad boy" impulse from lust, making it a little (but just a little) easier to overcome lust.

Especially if you grew up Catholic!

Yeah, blame the catholics. It's the pope's fault.

I believe in talking about things. If you are working with lust, one must discuss lust. Buddha said that if lust was any more powerful he may not have found enlightenment. It's tough and we all need a little help. Hopefully we can all move beyond.

If you want to work with lust then you have to work with lust. Then you have to see the lust for what it is; in your experience, not in theory. Not in a social context, not in cultural context, not in a neurological context, not in a chemical context, not in a physical context, not in a philosophical context - but in the context of your direct (sensual and only extremely little intellectual) experience.
If you say: That's just feeling, feeling, feeling... okay, maybe it's one step if you have some composure and firmness in the practice and are habitually settled in it to some extent. Might even be enough to retract from lustful fantasies then and there, depending on the situation and the strength of good and bad habits of where you put your mind, if you have anything else and better to do or to concentrate on etc. No need for a neuroscientist (or whatever) to tell you that.

If you develop some asubha-contemplation - as a preparatory exercise (i.e. favourably not starting for the first time in the midst of lust that is assailing you already) when you have a calm and unperturbed mind and some time, then you have some useful arsenal that you can call to mind and apply directly (as a replacement or transformation) to your experience. I think it can be very useful when developed correctly. But developing a theoretical understanding of how your brain functions does not help at all.

I recall when I was a teenager and sometimes my vivid fantasy would cause an erection in an unsuitable situation (maybe in the swimming pool, or during phys-ed class for example) I'd sometimes produce images of old people. Usually I would just focus on something else or think about something neutral or something serious and earnest, but in the last instance I would imagine something disgusting if there was "danger" ahead of being noticed. :lol:
Not that I'd find old people disgusting in an everyday conventional situation, but in the context of sexuality - yes! So that was one thing to think of for example. And then your mind retracts from that sexual thoughts quite fast. I think that's a case of intuitively developed asubha practice. I'm sure many others have had similar experiences in their puberty.
I think one of the reasons that worked so well was that it was actually based on respect and a natural sense of humility and shame - of course, because I was in social situations, and also, yes I had much respect for the old people which came to my mind also). A slight feeling of disgust doesn't hurt you if it is not based on and does not culminate in hatred but respect and a healthy sense of shame.
So it is useful to have respectable people around you (or in your mental company). And most important of course I think to have respect for yourself (which again, can be helped by respectable (mental) company). When we are alone and bored (maybe even depressed and lonely) we tend to lose this sense of shame that springs from respectable company.
But if you have a general sense of respect for yourself and the world around you, then I think it's a good exercise to practice asubha contemplation from time to time. It can be quite interesting to develop such an interest in seeing reality as it is and equanimity towards it. Because that's really what it is about. Theory of neurological processes are not the reality you are directly confronted with (and neither is the pope I hope).

About a year ago, Ajahn Piyadhammo (A_Martin) talked here about asubha-kammathana and was very in favour of practicing it. And he even said something like "if you practice asubha and no hateful feelings come up you are doing something wrong". I think it was not very positively received by most. He likes to be provocative about provocative subjects (which I'm not sure is always skillful :p). But I agree in some way.
If you want to get rid of something you have to have some disgust for it. A healthy sense of shame naturally brings about feelings of (maybe only slight) disgust. That's not unhealthy at all if you have a healthy approach to it (aspiration for self-respect (or in an earnest monk's case: for nibbana)).

If we are habitually often alone and bored and with free access to easy instant delicious sense gratification then our sense of shame (and for that moment "unnecessary" self-respect) deteriorates then and there (even if it still may be quite well intact while in social situations). And if we feel uneasy about that as you do sometimes (as many do sometimes but don't like to express, because it's shameful of course AND it's at the same time "bigoted" to feel shame about it) we can easily blame it on the catholic church (for example). But that's not really fair and I think also not very substantial.

But we are also often alone and bored and with free access to insight (pun intended). :meditate:
So that's my parol in favour of asubha-practice (based on wholesome aspirations). The company (even if conjured only mentally) of respectable people (your grandparents) is of course always helpful in itself and therefore always recommended but not so easily available.

I think I'm gonna join you in your heroic endeavour. :lol: 90 days (that's until 22nd of May for me). Let's make a deal. Whoever of us fails has to confess it openly here on DhammaWheel in this thread. (Otherwise what's the purpose of announcing such a determination in public...) Alternatively he is thrown into Avici hell for let's say half a kappa (or catholic hell for eternity if he prefers so). :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Last edited by perkele on Fri Feb 24, 2012 11:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby tiltbillings » Wed Feb 22, 2012 5:46 am

Buckwheat wrote:so that it arises no longer... hahahahahahahahaha :jumping: :toilet:

I think it is a tragedy that so many people think that the potential embarassment of a frank discussion is worth repressing discussion of a sexual nature. How very Victorian. Here in California, and I assume Western Nevada, sex is discussed pretty openly. Sometimes it gets inappropriate, but for the most part I think it removes some of the "bad boy" impulse from lust, making it a little (but just a little) easier to overcome lust.
I have no problem with talking about sex, but there is a place and time personal discussions of what one does in terms of sexual activity. A public forum probably is not one of them.
This being is bound to samsara, kamma is his means for going beyond.
SN I, 38.

Ar scáth a chéile a mhaireas na daoine.
People live in one another’s shelter.

"We eat cold eels and think distant thoughts." -- Jack Johnson
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Ben » Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:26 am

Hi Don,
dhamma_newb wrote:I came across this website called http://yourbrainonporn.com/ and realized I wanted to cut out all fantasy, porn, masturbation, and orgasm for 90 days and see what would happen in my life. I know this will be quite a challenge so hopefully posting this here will help me to succeed. Thank you.


I would like to commend you on talking publicly about a significant addiction. I wish you all the very best in maintaing your adhitthana (strong determination) to refrain from pornography and masturbation.
with metta,

Ben
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- Heraclitus


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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby dhamma_newb » Wed Feb 22, 2012 11:20 am

perkele wrote:But developing a theoretical understanding of how your brain functions does not help at all.


Please don't tell me what helps and doesn't help based on my :quote: experience. :quote:

tiltbillings wrote:
Buckwheat wrote:so that it arises no longer... hahahahahahahahaha :jumping: :toilet:

I think it is a tragedy that so many people think that the potential embarassment of a frank discussion is worth repressing discussion of a sexual nature. How very Victorian. Here in California, and I assume Western Nevada, sex is discussed pretty openly. Sometimes it gets inappropriate, but for the most part I think it removes some of the "bad boy" impulse from lust, making it a little (but just a little) easier to overcome lust.
I have no problem with talking about sex, but there is a place and time personal discussions of what one does in terms of sexual activity. A public forum probably is not one of them.


Porn free year to come

masturbation

Maybe I should've discussed what I do in terms of sexual activity in one of the above public forums?

Ben wrote:Hi Don,
dhamma_newb wrote:I came across this website called http://yourbrainonporn.com/ and realized I wanted to cut out all fantasy, porn, masturbation, and orgasm for 90 days and see what would happen in my life. I know this will be quite a challenge so hopefully posting this here will help me to succeed. Thank you.


I would like to commend you on talking publicly about a significant addiction. I wish you all the very best in maintaing your adhitthana (strong determination) to refrain from pornography and masturbation.
with metta,

Ben


Thanks Ben.
The watched mind brings happiness.
Dhp 36

I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness.
Walt Whitman
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Dmytro » Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:04 pm

Hi Don,

dhamma_newb wrote:I came across this website called http://yourbrainonporn.com/ and realized I wanted to cut out all fantasy, porn, masturbation, and orgasm for 90 days and see what would happen in my life. I know this will be quite a challenge so hopefully posting this here will help me to succeed. Thank you.


You may find helpful OpenDNS service: http://www.opendns.com/ or some similar approach.

With Metta,

Dmytro
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby perkele » Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:26 pm

dhamma_newb wrote:
perkele wrote:But developing a theoretical understanding of how your brain functions does not help at all.


Please don't tell me what helps and doesn't help based on my :quote: experience. :quote:

Oh dear... no need to feel offended. That was not my intention.

dhamma_newb wrote:I believe in talking about things.

... but don't want to hear about things?
If you don't find it helpful what I said then you don't find it helpful. I thought it might. But if not that's okay with me.

Dmytro wrote:You may find helpful OpenDNS service: http://www.opendns.com/ or some similar approach.

:spy: Paranoia? :spy: Now that is useful.
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Buckwheat » Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:56 pm

RMSmith wrote:
Buckwheat wrote:That being said, good luck to you, RMSmith.



Ummm ... I'm not the OP. But thanks anyway. :smile:


Sorry about that. Good luck to the OP, dhamma_newb.
Sotthī hontu nirantaraṃ - May you forever be well.
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Tyler » Wed Feb 29, 2012 5:41 pm

Don,
Your honesty in this matter is commendable. The website in the original post is very interesting. I wish you the best on your quest. The personal benefit will be immeasurable and freeing! :)

With Metta,
Tyler
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby dhamma_newb » Thu Mar 01, 2012 3:25 pm

Tyler wrote:Don,
Your honesty in this matter is commendable. The website in the original post is very interesting. I wish you the best on your quest. The personal benefit will be immeasurable and freeing! :)

With Metta,
Tyler


Thank you Tyler. As a good friend of mine said, "If a buddhist forum isn't the right place to talk about this, then nowhere is."

I have completed 10 days already and I am noticing a difference in my life. Whenever lust arises, I consider it as another opportunity to practice compassion and mindfulness and overcome this craving which causes suffering. It is because of people like you and the others here who gave me words of encouragement that I know that I can finish this. If my OP will help bring more awareness to this growing problem and maybe help others on this forum who may also be suffering from this problem then I think it was worth it. Take care and thanks again.

Peace,
Don

I thought this TED Talk regarding arousal addictions (excessive internet use, and excessive video gaming / "porning") was interesting.
The watched mind brings happiness.
Dhp 36

I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness.
Walt Whitman
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby tiltbillings » Thu Mar 01, 2012 4:07 pm

Totally delighted that your onanistic proclivities are being kept in check and that your showing great restraint in what you are looking at, but just to see how well restrained you are, here is a tempting photo of a fine pair of boobies:

http://img.ffffound.com/static-data/ass ... 50c7_m.jpg

Good luck, but if you fail here, keep it to yourself.
This being is bound to samsara, kamma is his means for going beyond.
SN I, 38.

Ar scáth a chéile a mhaireas na daoine.
People live in one another’s shelter.

"We eat cold eels and think distant thoughts." -- Jack Johnson
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