Porn Free for 90 Days

Exploring Theravāda's connections to other paths - what can we learn from other traditions, religions and philosophies?
Locked
User avatar
reflection
Posts: 1116
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:27 pm

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by reflection »

I would say those all factors can contribute for certain people. However I think those factors are not the core problem . The real problem is lust - at least for me, I can't speak for everybody. And so it is not just porn, but an addiction to sexuality in general.
User avatar
Alex123
Posts: 4035
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2010 11:32 pm

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Alex123 »

tiltbillings wrote:
reflection wrote:That's for each individual to determine for him/herself.
Well, I am not the arbiter of what is a healthy response to sex, but I seen have a far bit of unhealthy responses to sex.
And I don't think renunciation is unskillful/unhealthy at all; especially if you take in mind that renunciation is not the same as suppresion.
The issue is not suppression, it is repression. Repressed sexuality can give rise to very negative views of sex, of women (if one is male) and so forth. And it is easy enough to run through a list of "renunciates" who have acted badly sexually because they have not really come to grips with their own sexuality. One thing that would constitute, in part, a healthy response to sex is being comfortable with one's sexual feelings, even if they are uncomfortable.

What do you suggest that one should do? Indulge in pornography?
User avatar
ground
Posts: 2591
Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:01 am

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by ground »

Wow ... that's an inference :lol:
User avatar
Alex123
Posts: 4035
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2010 11:32 pm

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Alex123 »

Buddha has often talked about benefits of sense restraint (it is one of requirements for better progress), and I am a bit puzzled why some Buddhists would criticize it.
User avatar
ground
Posts: 2591
Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:01 am

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by ground »

Alex123 wrote:Buddha has often talked about benefits of sense restraint (it is one of requirements for better progress), and I am a bit puzzled why some Buddhists would criticize it.
Lack of faith due to lack of suffering?

Kind regards
User avatar
ground
Posts: 2591
Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:01 am

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by ground »

... And what is the supporting condition for faith? 'Suffering' should be the reply.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .bodh.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
User avatar
Alex123
Posts: 4035
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2010 11:32 pm

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Alex123 »

ground wrote:
... And what is the supporting condition for faith? 'Suffering' should be the reply.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .bodh.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
And it also requires wisdom. All of is suffer to greater or lesser degree.

When it comes to suffering I see three types of responses:
1) Deny it. But this doesn't fix it.
2) Idealize it, "suffering makes us better!", which doesn't actually fix it either.
Or, the best:
3) Extinguish it. Here is the value of Dhamma.

Lust can be terrible. Some people can become so desperate that they can cut their wrists, hang themselves or do something much worse. Trying to extinguish it is safer for the person and others.
Justsit
Posts: 803
Joined: Wed Oct 21, 2009 6:41 pm

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Justsit »

Do you think lust is worse than any other type of suffering? Desperate people kill themselves and perform horrible deeds due to depression, anger, and other emotions - should all powerful emotions be extinguished, then?

There is a fourth option, which requires, as you say, wisdom, and great discipline - just observe the emotion, and it will self-liberate.
User avatar
Alex123
Posts: 4035
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2010 11:32 pm

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Alex123 »

Justsit wrote:Do you think lust is worse than any other type of suffering?
Often other emotions are based on lust. In any case I was using lust as an example.
Justsit wrote: Desperate people kill themselves and perform horrible deeds due to depression, anger, and other emotions - should all powerful emotions be extinguished, then?
It is your call. Do you want to experience depression, anger, anxiety, fear, etc?
Justsit wrote: There is a fourth option, which requires, as you say, wisdom, and great discipline - just observe the emotion, and it will self-liberate.
This is included in 3rd option.
User avatar
ground
Posts: 2591
Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:01 am

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by ground »

ground wrote:
Alex123 wrote:Buddha has often talked about benefits of sense restraint (it is one of requirements for better progress), and I am a bit puzzled why some Buddhists would criticize it.
Lack of faith due to lack of suffering?

Kind regards
Also sense restraint should be accompanied by joy. If it isn't then it is of no use in the context of liberation. The Buddha did take into account how human khandhas function.
"And what are the six kinds of renunciation joy? The joy that arises when — experiencing the inconstancy of those very forms, their change, fading, & cessation — one sees with right discernment as it actually is that all forms, past or present, are inconstant, stressful, subject to change: That is called renunciation joy. (Similarly with sounds, smells, tastes, tactile sensations, & ideas.)

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .than.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
User avatar
Ben
Posts: 18438
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:49 am
Location: kanamaluka

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Ben »

Time to get back on topic, folks!
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR

e: [email protected]..
dhamma_newb
Posts: 307
Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2011 6:36 am

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by dhamma_newb »

52 days and I relapsed. I don't think I can do this alone and I think I need professional help. I am sorry to all those that I have let down.
The watched mind brings happiness.
Dhp 36

I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness.
Walt Whitman
User avatar
Ben
Posts: 18438
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:49 am
Location: kanamaluka

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Ben »

Relax Don, you haven't let anyone down! 52 days is a pretty awesome effort.
We all fall down and then get up again, fall down and get up.
Be easy on yourself.
With metta,

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR

e: [email protected]..
Sarva
Posts: 209
Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:49 pm

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Sarva »

Ben wrote:Relax Don, you haven't let anyone down! 52 days is a pretty awesome effort.
We all fall down and then get up again, fall down and get up.
Be easy on yourself.
With metta,

Ben
Well said, Ben
Keep positive Don! :toast:
“Both formerly & now, it is only stress that I describe, and the cessation of stress.” — SN 22:86
David2
Posts: 930
Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2011 6:09 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by David2 »

dhamma_newb wrote:52 days and I relapsed. I don't think I can do this alone and I think I need professional help. I am sorry to all those that I have let down.
Beating yourself up can be a lot worse than watching porn.
So, whatever you do, don't beat yourself up.
Just keep living your life with best intentions, noone can live it perfectly according to the Dhamma unless one is an arahant.
Locked