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Porn Free for 90 Days - Page 6 - Dhamma Wheel

Porn Free for 90 Days

Exploring Theravāda's connections to other paths. What can we learn from other traditions, religions and philosophies?
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Ben
Posts: 18442
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Location: kanamaluka

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Ben » Wed Apr 11, 2012 3:33 am

Time to get back on topic, folks!
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

dhamma_newb
Posts: 307
Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2011 6:36 am

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby dhamma_newb » Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:31 pm

52 days and I relapsed. I don't think I can do this alone and I think I need professional help. I am sorry to all those that I have let down.
The watched mind brings happiness.
Dhp 36

I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness.
Walt Whitman

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Ben
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Location: kanamaluka

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Ben » Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:46 pm

Relax Don, you haven't let anyone down! 52 days is a pretty awesome effort.
We all fall down and then get up again, fall down and get up.
Be easy on yourself.
With metta,

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

Sarva
Posts: 209
Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:49 pm

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Sarva » Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:11 pm

“Both formerly & now, it is only stress that I describe, and the cessation of stress.” — SN 22:86

David2
Posts: 930
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Location: Germany

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby David2 » Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:48 pm


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reflection
Posts: 1116
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby reflection » Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:57 pm

The mind craves, that's its nature. The goal is not to make 90 days 'clean', but to learn from the process. You've let nobody down and also shouldn't let yourself down!

You can go on with the wisdom you've gathered. :console:

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Alex123
Posts: 3476
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2010 11:32 pm

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Alex123 » Fri Apr 13, 2012 3:39 pm

"Life is a struggle. Life will throw curveballs at you, it will humble you, it will attempt to break you down. And just when you think things are starting to look up, life will smack you back down with ruthless indifference..."

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Ferox
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Ferox » Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:12 pm

Remember what I said about vows being made to be broken? ;) friend do not feel bad and down youself. I say all you need to do is your meditation practice and when you are ready it will be given up naturally and without struggle ;).
-just one more being treading the ancient path of Dhamma-

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rowboat
Posts: 700
Joined: Sun Aug 22, 2010 5:31 am
Location: Brentwood Bay

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby rowboat » Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:39 pm

Rain soddens what is covered up,
It does not sodden what is open.
Therefore uncover what is covered
That the rain will not sodden it.
Ud 5.5

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reflection
Posts: 1116
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:27 pm

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby reflection » Fri Apr 13, 2012 10:44 pm

Don, I think you should watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVJd5pz-PkU

With metta,
Reflection

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ground
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby ground » Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:46 am


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Khalil Bodhi
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Khalil Bodhi » Sat Apr 14, 2012 9:32 am

Hi dhamma_newb,

I don't have much advice beyond what others have already said. Please go Easy on yourself-the time you spent abstaining has certainly been well spent and will only make tout next attempt better. Definitely take up a metta practice if you haven't already and feel free to PM me if you need support. Be :group: well!
To avoid all evil, to cultivate good, and to cleanse one's mind — this is the teaching of the Buddhas.
-Dhp. 183

Uposatha Observance Club:
My Practice Blog:

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SDC
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Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:08 pm

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby SDC » Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:02 pm


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Dmytro
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Dmytro » Tue Apr 17, 2012 4:32 am



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retrofuturist
Site Admin
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Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:52 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby retrofuturist » Tue Apr 17, 2012 4:59 am

"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh

"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead" - Thomas Paine

perkele
Posts: 653
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2011 2:37 pm

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby perkele » Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:39 am

Hey Don!
Sorry to hear that. But don't take it so serious! 52 days, that's a lot. I'm really grateful that you started this thread, because for me it was a good time and a good undertaking. Maybe I should not have made such a silly competition out of it. I just thought it might spur the motivation between all these demotivating cautionary voices, and indeed it spurred mine. But I didn't want to turn it into something grim.
Actually I just came here because I wanted to relate a funny story to lighten things up a little bit of how I got a crush on a bhikkhuni on a meditation retreat this weekend. Man, I have not felt such butterflies in my stomach since I was 16. But okay, I'll spare the details. It just ruins the romance. At any rate, my new suggestion to tackle the problem is to fall in love with a bhikkhuni if you find the opportunity while trying to learn meditation from her. And then you have to seperate love from lust and admiration from infatuation and sort these things out and your interest for sex will just disappear in the process. Or maybe that's what Mara told me.
Okay, almost enough silly advice. But one more thing: Don't feel humiliated. I really appreciate your initiative and your honesty. Don't exaggerate your "failure". Just as the others already said. If I was in your position I would probably feel similar. But from outside it's easy to see that that's just silly. I'm sure such a period of restraint and abstinence has taught you something useful, even if you are not able to recognize it at first. And you must also see: You are not alone. You are not a pervert. You are just not an anagami. And even if I don't really know you I would contend that you probably don't need professional help (from a prostitute or otherwise) but you were just exaggerating. My heart goes out to you my friend. I admire your honesty.
:buddha2:

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Ferox
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Location: New Jersey, USA
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Ferox » Wed Apr 18, 2012 3:58 am

-just one more being treading the ancient path of Dhamma-

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Moth
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Moth » Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:09 pm

I've tried and failed many times, just keep at it. Someone once said life is a series of mistakes, you have no choice but to screw up. The more you try the easier it becomes, you just have to keep nipping lust at the bud, don't let it develop/cultivate in the mind and it won't spill out into action (of course easier said than done).
May you be happy. May you be a peace. May you be free from suffering.
http://www.everythingspirals.com

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reflection
Posts: 1116
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:27 pm

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby reflection » Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:36 pm

I like your post, Moth. I also relapsed (after about 10 days or so), but I'm still practicing. But I expected this, so for me it is not a problem. I didn't expect to change something that is so strong within a single try.

himalayanspirit
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 11:02 am

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby himalayanspirit » Sun Apr 22, 2012 5:36 pm

I am 24 and the maximum I've stayed away from porn (and masturbation/sex) is about 23 days.
Last edited by Ben on Mon Apr 23, 2012 6:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Off-topic content removed by admin


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