Porn Free for 90 Days

Exploring Theravāda's connections to other paths. What can we learn from other traditions, religions and philosophies?
dhammapal
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby dhammapal » Mon Apr 30, 2012 11:03 am

13 days porn-free.

It was really hard to throw out the 17 female nudist photos at Day 9 but now male and female bodies seem much the same and my life feels a lot simpler. I don't need to talk so much to either my male or female friends.

With metta / dhammapal.






Sarva
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Sarva » Mon Apr 30, 2012 11:21 am

Hi All
Do you know if there are any articles which explains how frequent male ejaculation must be to maintain good health and fertile semen production etc?

Sorry if I missed a reference elsewhere, I have yet to find a satisfactory answer on-line to this question so thought this might be a useful place to ask if anyone has found an answer which satisfies them.

metta
“Both formerly & now, it is only stress that I describe, and the cessation of stress.” — SN 22:86

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reflection
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby reflection » Tue May 01, 2012 4:05 pm


dhammapal
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby dhammapal » Thu May 03, 2012 6:04 pm







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Ben
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Ben » Thu May 03, 2012 9:28 pm

Well done!
I hope you are also maintaining your Dhamma practice.
kind regards

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

dhamma_newb
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby dhamma_newb » Sat May 05, 2012 5:02 pm

I want to thank tilt for all of the wisdom he's brought through his posts on this topic. I was listening to a Dharma talk on Dharma Seed by Tara Brach titled "Relating Wisely to Desire" and I think it really touches on what tilt has been talking about here.



With Metta,
Don
The watched mind brings happiness.
Dhp 36

I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness.
Walt Whitman

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Moth
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Moth » Mon May 07, 2012 5:51 am

May you be happy. May you be a peace. May you be free from suffering.
http://www.everythingspirals.com

Buckwheat
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Buckwheat » Mon May 07, 2012 6:28 am

Sotthī hontu nirantaraṃ - May you forever be well.

dhammapal
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby dhammapal » Fri May 11, 2012 11:53 am

Day 24. I was planning to post after watching a TV discussion forum on the topic of the effect of pornography on children, but I decided not to watch it. One of the regrets following throwing away the 17 female nudist Duchenne smile photos was the desire to find a career helping men to prefer soft core to hard core material as a kind of sex education, but I've realized I should concentrate on overcoming my own personal addiction otherwise discussing the content of photos might just be an excuse to indulge my own fantasies and desires. Alcoholics who haven't drunk for twenty years still call themselves alcoholics (I've never had alcohol though). I still have skewed perceptions e.g. that women are being generous by taking off their clothes.

I thought of donating to the Rape Crisis Centre again but their current appeal is for online education for fathers to raise ethical sons which I think is too indirect. I donated to the Women's Domestic Violence Crisis Service Appeal instead. This is helping overcome anger at home. I'm living alone at the moment but haven't been tempted to look at naked women anymore.

With metta / dhammapal.






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Ben
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Ben » Fri May 11, 2012 11:57 am

Thanks for the update, Dhammapal!
Wishing you all the very best,

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

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manas
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby manas » Sun May 13, 2012 9:22 am

Dhammapal, you are the man! You are inspiring me to make more effort myself. Keep up the good work, and remember to simultaneously do some body-centred meditation practice, daily. Ajahn Thanissaro made this point that if we can start experiencing some taste for meditation, it will get easier to forgo lust. Anapanasati, interspersed with some asubha bhavana, seems to help me whenever I go on an anti-lust drive.
Sadhu. :anjali:
Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

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Alobha
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Alobha » Sun May 13, 2012 12:36 pm

Almost 30days then dhammapal, that is great! Keep on with it! :smile:

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manas
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby manas » Mon May 14, 2012 1:34 am

Hi dhammapal, all,

This might be of assistance:



I take from this that we should find skilful means to overcome lust, rather than just willpower. Of course some willpower is needed, but willpower alone would be a very hard and painful route to take. Giving up sex pleasure is always going to be tough, but there's no reason to make it tougher than necessary. If we can find ways to smooth the journey, we will have a greater chance of success, and less chance of a relapse into old patterns.

Something else that came to mind (and this one is my own idea, not the Venerable Ajahn's!) is that possibly real-life female companionship could help, too. Of course I'm not advocating seeking out a girlfriend if you were aiming at complete brahmacariya, no; but maybe exploring the idea that it would be a healthier alternative to porn addiction is worth thinking about, if like most people, you wish to give up porn, but might not be ready to give up sex life totally. Companionship doesn't have to mean sex per se, anyway. It can be on many levels. It could be as innocent as just friendship, even. I just thought that it might also help to lift the mind out of the temptation to indulge in the 'quick-fix, instant gratification' allure of porn, which is of course unrealistic and out of step with what sex life would involve in the real world (such as affection, respect etc), if one were to engage in it (according to the lay precepts, of course). Just another idea that might be of assistance.

(NB: I was not implying that you have an addiction to porn, but whether we like it or not, online porn is highly addictive, those who produce it are aware of this and actually design it in a way that increases the addictiveness, and I am puzzled as to how some people (not from this forum) can regard it as harmless, or that one could somehow use it casually and not have one's usage increase over time. It is like a drug, and the addictive chemicals are produced in the brain itself - we become our very own drug dealer!)

with metta

:anjali:
Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

dhammapal
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby dhammapal » Mon May 14, 2012 10:48 am







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Ben
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Ben » Mon May 14, 2012 11:09 am

“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected].com..

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manas
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby manas » Tue May 15, 2012 12:31 am

Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

dhammapal
Posts: 1562
Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:23 am
Location: Sydney, Australia

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby dhammapal » Tue May 15, 2012 2:23 am

Last edited by dhammapal on Tue May 15, 2012 6:51 am, edited 1 time in total.






dhammapal
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby dhammapal » Tue May 15, 2012 3:56 am







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manas
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby manas » Tue May 15, 2012 9:06 am

Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

dhammapal
Posts: 1562
Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:23 am
Location: Sydney, Australia

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby dhammapal » Tue May 15, 2012 10:24 am








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