Ron Crouch wrote:The contradiction is apparent. It goes back to "The Three Kinds of Full Understanding" ([paragraph] 3 in Chapter 20 — Purification by knowledge and vision of what is and what is not the path), which essentially describes the trajectory that a practitioner experiences through a single insight stage (and in the path overall). First you know it by "tasting" it directly, then you see it going in and out of existence on its own (nothing to do with you), and then you stop identifying with it completely.
That's useful. Obviously I need to read these chapters again, more carefully.
Buddhaghosa wrote:[THE THREE KINDS OF FULL-UNDERSTANDING]
Vism XX 3. Here is the exposition: there are three kinds of mundane full-understanding,
that is, full-understanding as the known, full-understanding as investigation,
and full-understanding as abandoning, with reference to which it was said:
“Understanding that is direct-knowledge is knowledge in the sense of being
known. Understanding that is full-understanding is knowledge in the sense of
investigating. Understanding that is abandoning is knowledge in the sense of
giving up” (Paþis I 87).
Ron Crouch wrote:The key thing here is to understand that if you are having these negative experiences, as Mahasi points out, it is part and parcel of the path. Don't blame yourself or think you've really messed up. This is insight.