I don't know where to put this so I put it here. The circumstances changed. My girlfriend and I have a serious relationship for about 8 years now. We've had our ups and donws and we both are relativly young. We decided to make one's career first so that we won't regret that we haven't done everything in the past for a good job 'cause we thought later it could be to late and a good job, well paied will be very helpfull for a young family and so on... Well, that's live, a lot of supposing how the future might be. The last 2 or 3 years we noticed slightly that we're drifting apart. Because of the work we've seen each other very unfrequently, about 1 or 2 days a week sometimes less. I never was someone who had lots of friends and my family is spread (don't know if that is the right word). Some live in Spain, some in Switzerland, some elsewhere all over germany. I never was very interested in social contacts. My girlfriend was most of the time the only person and reason why I did all the wordly things. (I never really knew why I should live a life how the others told me how life has to be lived)
So I too wanted to have a family, house, children and all that stuff when I was younger, but now the only thing I see in things like that is dukkha. Earlier I wasn't interested in things like that but after school (and when I met my girlfriend) I thought this is going to make me really happy, this is going to be satisfying. I always doubt it. Today I'm sure that won't be satisfying. Or better that is all dukkha and will never decrease but rather becoming more and more. We're not ready to break up now but it's not a question "whether ... or not" but "when". I noticed that my interest in this world of dukkha decreases more and more. I think I'm going to manage this circumstances and reduce my "involvement" concerning the wordly life which my girlfriend and I are living at the moment. We're still very good friends. All I see day after day is: "there is the normal life and you know that it's impossible to live it without dukkha. do you want to keep on living like that?" - Guess what's my answer? - I'm tired of it!
I need to let these things go till there is nothing (especially no-one) left so that all the dukkhá looses its footing.
Pubbe cāhaṃ bhikkhave, etarahi ca dukkhañceva paññāpemi, dukkhassa ca nirodhaṃ. (M 22)