How do I stop cycling back into worldliness?

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How do I stop cycling back into worldliness?

Postby mpcahn » Sun Jul 08, 2012 6:36 am

So I have a problem in my practice: I vacillate from being really into the practice to being pulled into more worldly concerns. I will get some solid momentum going in my meditation sitting for an hour in the morning and the evening and keeping my citta on a pretty short leash during the day. Then after a couple weeks to a month of this my meditation will go stale and I'll get lonely and get pulled into pursuing worldly concerns, mostly girls.

Before I started getting really into the practice I was into picking up women. I would go out to bars sober and alone and approach girls I was attracted to I manage to keep my 5 precepts while engaging in this practice by screening girls for boyfriends and trying to be honest. I got pretty good at it too though it simply wasn't and still isn't fulfilling. So after I fall out of the practice I would go out and get my pick up skill set back and get a girl or two and start feeling that the worldly life is dusty and all I want to do is meditate and make my mind calm again.

Then the cycle begins anew. Does anyone have any experience dealing with issues like this in the practice?
is the mind us? Is it ours? Slash on down! Whatever is going to be destroyed, let it be destroyed. We feel no regrets. We want only the truth. (Ajahn Maha Boowa)

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Re: How do I stop cycling back into worldliness?

Postby Ben » Sun Jul 08, 2012 6:47 am

As you continue applying effort those pendulum swings will become gentler. I'm wondering whether the fervour that you are devoting to your practice when its "on" is probably too intense? Maybe what you require is to be a bit more relaxed with your attitude with regards to practice. Maintain your precepts and your daily sittings. There's no need to turn every waking moment into a constant meditation session. And also make a decision with adhitthana (strong determination) not to pick up chicks with the aim of having casual sex.
Wishign you all the best,
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

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Re: How do I stop cycling back into worldliness?

Postby Kamran » Sun Jul 08, 2012 6:55 am

Maybe its time get a wife, and grow out of girl chasing like the way kids grow out of playing with toys :)
"Silence gives answers"

Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi

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Re: How do I stop cycling back into worldliness?

Postby Goofaholix » Sun Jul 08, 2012 6:57 am

Sometimes you have to do something time and time again observing how unfulfiling it is before you give it up.

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Re: How do I stop cycling back into worldliness?

Postby reflection » Sun Jul 08, 2012 7:08 am

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Re: How do I stop cycling back into worldliness?

Postby Cittasanto » Sun Jul 08, 2012 9:56 am

He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.

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Re: How do I stop cycling back into worldliness?

Postby pegembara » Sun Jul 08, 2012 10:34 am

And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech.

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Re: How do I stop cycling back into worldliness?

Postby Alobha » Sun Jul 08, 2012 11:02 am

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Re: How do I stop cycling back into worldliness?

Postby nobody12345 » Sun Jul 08, 2012 5:09 pm

@mpcahn, you said it happens whenever your practice gets stale.
But in reality, that period of staleness is the best time for practice Dhamma.
And the period of pain, agony, and suffering is also great time to practice Dhamma.
Dhamma grows when one gets through those tough periods without wavering.
And you are not alone in the experience of staleness.
Even the most dedicated among us, even the strictest hardcore practitioner gets through those period.
Don't be afraid or baffled by staleness.
Take it as it comes, take a notice, observe, then keep walking the path.
Because no matter what, staleness will fade away too just like any other difficult dhammas.
And the word "CONSISTENCY" is the absolute necessity for the fruition of Dhamma practice.
Many have no shortage of motivation when things go well.
However, if one truly wishes success in Dhamma practice, the practice must go on whether rain or shine.

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