Tentative Hello!

[Azure]

Hi there,

For the past several months, I've been encountering Buddhist thoughts, ideas, principles in my readings and have become very interested in the principles of the religion. I am a very rational person. I don't believe in God, or supernatural things. Rebirth, karma. That doesn't appeal to me. I wouldn't call myself a Buddhist either. I think the Buddha was a genius and his ideas were way ahead of his time. But religions are things I tend to abhor because of my background and because they are not things I'd like to associate myself with.

I've been through a lot in my life. I come from a muslim background. I have never really believed, however, and am an Atheist. That has been a source of conflict with my family for ages.

Pain is something that I've become associated with deeply, but as I get older, I have begun to see that Life is indeed suffering. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing.

The more that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. I've been through a bit of a hellish few years, and hellish year in general, and a really hellish few months. The last 3 weeks of which have been spent in a lot of agony, with lots of demons resurfacing. I've been stuck in my thoughts. It's been difficult to get out of bed. I've been suicidal, and then i've found clarity, only to lose it again. It's been up and down. And It was draining, mentally and physically. But it's all a process, and I'm stepping forwards bit by bit, even if it's protracted. Clinging, attachment, and my demons--I've been spinning all this around in my head non stop. It's been difficult to find ways to shut my brain off actually. But I don't regret it. I'm going to be a better person because of it.

But this week I finally gave in and started to begin the process of learning how to meditate. That's been helpful too in getting some clarity. Even though for the most part, because there's so much going on, a lot of things surface when I attempt to sit still and relax and clear my head. Really really strange things. I try to just observe and let them pass.

I guess I'm here because I'm on a journey in my life to become a happier person. To deal with myself from the inside. To heal old wounds, and learn to love the damaged kid inside of me. And I want to discuss that with other people who might be on the same journey as me or who just have useful things to say and experience that comes with it.

Thanks,

Azure.

[David N. Snyder]

Welcome to Dhamma Wheel!

Many of us came to the Dhamma through some healthy skepticism.

Rational teachings of Buddha

Buddhism for the modern skeptic

[Azure]

Thanks.

And for the links too.

I'm not really interested in how it's compatible to Science. Science itself is enough and what ancient people thought---while interesting isn't something I need to have confirmed by a religion. What interests me is the psychological and philosophical aspects. ^_^

This is a pretty quiet forum...

[Azure]

Also, the second link---the pdf file---great! Thanks for that. If you have other sources to share, I'll eat them up!

[Khalil Bodhi]

Welcome Azure! Please take care of yourself and consider finding a counselor or therapist with whom to speak as well as studying the Dhamma. May you find freedom from all suffering and please let me know if I can help in anyway.

[Azure]

[Ben]

Greetings Azure,

Welcome to Dhamma Wheel.

I also second Khalil Bodhi's advice. If you are suffering from acute depression then you really need to see a professional health-care practitioner to help you to get back on your feet.
with metta,

Ben

[manas]

Hi azure

a warm welcome to Dhamma Wheel.

I can relate to alot of what you say in your post. My journey is also twofold: to gain knowledge & understanding of the truth of things, and, to heal this wounded human being I call myself. I am finding that these aims go together quite well.

with metta,

manas

[Azure]

Greetings Azure,

Welcome to Dhamma Wheel.

I also second Khalil Bodhi's advice. If you are suffering from acute depression then you really need to see a professional health-care practitioner to help you to get back on your feet.
with metta,

Ben

I'm in school and generally speak to counselor several times a month but for now I am at home, but I'm doing okay. Thanks for your concern.

[Azure]

Hi azure

a warm welcome to Dhamma Wheel.

I can relate to alot of what you say in your post. My journey is also twofold: to gain knowledge & understanding of the truth of things, and, to heal this wounded human being I call myself. I am finding that these aims go together quite well.

with metta,

manas

Thank you

Yes they do go quite well together. Although sometimes I wish i was a simpler person.

[cooran]

Welcome to DhammaWheel!

Many of us began our life’s journey in a particular religion. After discovering the Buddha’s teachings explaining reality and how things really are, there were, initially, some difficulties with relatives and friends still devoutly practicing that religion.

But investigating, learning and practising the Dhamma over time leads to companionship, satisfaction and peace.

with metta
Chris

[Kim O'Hara]

Welcome, Azure

This is a pretty quiet forum...

It has been quieter than usual in the last month or so, I think. I don't know why - maybe all the northern-hemisphere people going off on summer holidays??

It is always quiet in another sense - polite, respectful, thoughtful - which I think is a good thing.


Kim

[Azure]

Perhaps.

Thanks for the warm welcome!

[Alobha]

Welcome Azure! May you be happy and well