reflection wrote:One year ago I was in a similar "boat" like you. Fortunately I found out:
"Monks, be islands (lights) unto yourselves,be your own refuge, having no other; let the Dhamma be an island (light) and a refuge to you, having no other." (SN22.43)
"... For those who — now or after I am gone — remain with their self as an island, their self as their refuge, without anything else as a refuge, with the Dhamma as an island, the Dhamma as their refuge, without anything else as a refuge, they will be the highest of the monks who desire training." (SN 47.13)
You are misinterpreting the quotes if you think that means going it alone. Sure, have no other refuge but the dhamma. But who is going to train you in the dhamma ("monks who desire training.
"), help you interpret it, to guide you and make sure you are not going the wrong way, or wasting your time up blind alleys. A teacher who has experience and attainment.