Thanks for all the responses. I really appreciate the support.
It did culminate in that. In fact, the last time I meditated I had a panic attack with pretty severe hyperventilating. That is when I stopped.
I like those meditations. In fact, I was doing 2+ of those types of meditation weekly. I didn't change the amount of tension I had though, but the way I thought about myself began to change in dramatic ways. I'd love to do start doing those again, but I fear the looming neurosis that may result as a byproduct.
I have been shown twice. I doubt that's the issue, but I am open. Even the body scan meditations that I usually did laying on the ground resulted in tension although not as severe.
I plan to go to a local center for meditation/yoga/mindfulness to ask questions. I should also look into going to a monastery, thanks. I would be open to the idea that the audiotapes don't suit me, however, the thing I find so strange is how much of a positive experience it has been for me emotionally and mentally, yet physiologically its the opposite. Even while thinking about some of these mindfulness tenets I find myself getting tense and also at the same time feeling a deep connection with myself. If I were to take a guess at what my body is trying to tell me based on the many ways I've tried to understand where this pain is coming from, it would be: "Stop trying so much". I've tried practicing just mindfulness without meditation and the same the happens. It seems as though any effort I put into doing something differently over a continual basis has the same effect.
I would tend to agree if the it didn't appear that the anxiety and pain stemmed directly as a result of the practice. The symptoms only worsened. My breathing began to change as well, sometimes feeling like my head isnt getting enough oxygen. I would have more faith if I were to be told that this situation has been known to occur in some and that it does subside, but I haven't.
Thanks for the response. I don't have problems with fluctuating emotions; I'm used to that. It's the pain and anxiety. I would feel very anxious just walking up the stairs coming from the subway and that was the least of my problems. I never felt/feel this way without the practice.