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Porn Free for 90 Days - Page 13 - Dhamma Wheel

Porn Free for 90 Days

Exploring Theravāda's connections to other paths. What can we learn from other traditions, religions and philosophies?
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Vlcimba
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Vlcimba » Tue Jul 31, 2012 4:41 pm

Form is emptiness. Emptiness is form--- Heart sutra

uvm49erfan
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby uvm49erfan » Tue Aug 07, 2012 9:40 pm

Thanks for the post. I would consider myself an addict of porn and this site may be enough to get me started in a new direction. I have been wanting to for years, but haven't found the right approach to.

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manas
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Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby manas » Wed Aug 08, 2012 7:48 am

There is this sutta, can't remember which at present, where the Buddha is quoted as having said, that before (attainment (or regular practice?) of jhana, he was still able to be tempted by lust, but that once he had jhana, he could no longer be tempted by lust. I have read in a few places that the piti-sukha of the first jhana is more pleasant that any sensual pleasure. So one way to give up porn forever, would be to learn how to obtain the higher forms of pleasure in meditation.
Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

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Ben
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Ben » Wed Aug 08, 2012 8:09 am

Or you could just...not indulge!

Manas, I think you might be putting the cart in front of the horse. Sense restraint, observation of sila and the development of samadhi leads to jhana. Not the other way round. And attaining jhana is no guarantee that one will not indulge in sense pleasures again. When one is in jhana, the hindrances are subdued not permanently eradicated.
kind regards,

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

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tiltbillings
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby tiltbillings » Wed Aug 08, 2012 8:31 am


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manas
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby manas » Wed Aug 08, 2012 12:46 pm

Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

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Ben
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Location: kanamaluka

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Ben » Wed Aug 08, 2012 1:12 pm

“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

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manas
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Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby manas » Wed Aug 08, 2012 9:17 pm

Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

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Ben
Posts: 18442
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:49 am
Location: kanamaluka

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Ben » Wed Aug 08, 2012 11:27 pm

“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

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manas
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Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby manas » Thu Aug 09, 2012 1:32 am

Last edited by manas on Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

dhammapal
Posts: 1562
Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:23 am
Location: Sydney, Australia

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby dhammapal » Thu Aug 09, 2012 11:56 am

Day 114. But I'll keep going.

Some ideas that have helped me overcome pornography addiction:
- donating to the Rape Crisis Center. This is my number one tip.
- Post to this thread. I actually had a dream at night once where I wanted to find porn then remembered this thread in the dream!
- use medical terminology for parts of the anatomy e.g. mammary glands
- occasional masturbation without porn (Days 9, 24, 36, 38, 86, 106) isn't the same addiction although there is the urge to seek out porn when trying to do it. Abstain on one day a week (full moon, new moon, half moon).
- memorize this Ajahn Brahm quote: "...the things that come out of this body!" I keep a bowel diary and visualize how the body derives nourishment through the intestines.
- overcome the delusion that the women are smiling at you and not just at the photographer (without looking at photos!)
- set Google SafeSearch to Strict. You can Password Lock it too. Anything to create an impediment to casual whims.
- Burn your bridges: make it more difficult to access satisfying porn e.g. delete favorite photos from your hard drive and backups.
- I think a sense of humor is important. A female moderator on a sexuality forum explained that not all women will have strong PC muscles which has successfully reduced my visual and auditory based lust for my neighbor's wife!

I'd be happy to discuss any questions anyone might have.

With metta / dhammapal.






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Ben
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Location: kanamaluka

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Ben » Thu Aug 09, 2012 12:45 pm

“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

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SDC
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby SDC » Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:22 pm

Good work, dhammapal.

*This is a cross post from the "Pornography" thread*

I have been quite honest about my struggles with this in the past. I have had some real good results as of late and I’d like to share them. For the record, I am not trying to be celibate or even quit masturbating (at least not at this time), I just do not want to use porn, especially on the internet; its endless which is why it is so dangerous and I feel it is a waste of my energy.

I have reduced my usage a lot in the past 2 years with minimal backlash. It has be slow but steady. I’ve been analyzing the entire process in order to understand it, and the most important thing I have begun to discover is the deeper meaning of the shame that I experience after I use. Initially I only understood it as guilt for not being to resist and succumbing to the urges, but I soon realized there was much more to it than that. It is a stern reminder of how ordinary I am and that I am not as developed as I want to be. One day I feel like a solid practitioner who is at a certain level and then the next I fall into a trap that humbles me. Worse off, it is a trap that I have fallen into thousands of times. Perhaps this was so blatantly obvious that I failed to pay much attention to it in the past. I have begun recalling this when I start to get the urges. I focus on my goal which is the reorientation that Dan brought up. I say to myself, “Hey! If you really want to progress in the dhamma then this (porn usage) has to stop. You can give in, but you know how you will feel afterwards. Is the pleasure worth it?”

This may not be the case for everyone, but I am saving no space for a porn habit. Maybe some people can do it and still have a strong practice. Not me. It is a full on surrendering of control and attentiveness that goes against everything I am trying to accomplish. Once again, I am not looking to be rid of sex and masturbation, but porn has to go.

uvm49erfan
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Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:14 pm

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby uvm49erfan » Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:12 pm


whynotme
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby whynotme » Fri Aug 10, 2012 5:50 pm

Please stop following me

uvm49erfan
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby uvm49erfan » Fri Aug 10, 2012 9:26 pm


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LonesomeYogurt
Posts: 900
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Location: America

Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby LonesomeYogurt » Fri Aug 10, 2012 11:54 pm

Gain and loss, status and disgrace,
censure and praise, pleasure and pain:
these conditions among human beings are inconstant,
impermanent, subject to change.

Knowing this, the wise person, mindful,
ponders these changing conditions.
Desirable things don’t charm the mind,
undesirable ones bring no resistance.

His welcoming and rebelling are scattered,
gone to their end,
do not exist.
- Lokavipatti Sutta


whynotme
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby whynotme » Sat Aug 11, 2012 6:03 am

Please stop following me

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Vlcimba
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby Vlcimba » Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:48 pm

Hormones man. Hormones is the key. You can't get rid of it, but you can take control, and slowly overcome it day by day , the brain is designed to have infinite number of taughts, ideas intentions, you just need to try to make sure every each of it is a good one, it's almost impossible to achieve that, for us laypeople, we don't need to, we just need to try our best. I don't know a lot of Buddhist terms like you all, but I hope this post helped, I am a mahayanist and also study Theravada , but I am a simple man, so I use simple words to express myself:)
Form is emptiness. Emptiness is form--- Heart sutra

whynotme
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Postby whynotme » Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:02 am

Please stop following me


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