Oh dear Ben, that's terrible.
It's lost the endearing post-apocalyptic feel of JA's version in favour of generic early-70s US rock.
In order to redeem yourself, clap your hearers around this...
What is the final conviction that comes when radical attention is razor-edge sharp? That the object of the mind is mind-made (manomaya). (Ven. Ñāṇananda)
Having understood name-and-form, which is a product of prolificity,
And which is the root of all malady within and without,
He is released from bondage to the root of all maladies,
That Such-like-one is truly known as 'the one who has understood'. (Snp 3.6)