Hi DhammaWheel people - I'm moving into my university dormitory tomorrow and I must say I am terrified...
I have a very mild case of Asperger's which means I'm "normal" from the outside but socialising and holding conversations is actually extremely difficult for me, to the point that I became a near-hermit in my teenage years.
I've improved but those years in hiding set me back a lot, which is why even though I live a commutable distance from the university, I opted to stay in halls, seeing it as a way of facing my fear head-on and actually improving this side of me.
My main issues going into it are that I feel that maybe I'm too old to be going into a uni dormitory. I'm 22 years old but my aforementioned issues made doing such a thing impossible until now. I'm very shy at first which puts people off, I have no interest in getting wasted listening to awful music in clubs. My height (6'4") and the fact I'm very big-built which means I "stick out" somewhat compared to most people, and it can both make people uneasy and uncomfortable (maybe I'm being paranoid), and also magnifies my social discomfort - trust me "6'4", 18 stone wallflower" is not a great look!
Anyway, I'm biting the bullet and going for it but I cannot deny that I'm not very
nervous about tomorrow as there are so many question-marks around it! I've increased my meditation this week in the hope that it calms me down, especially as mindfulness of breathing before bed helps my sleeping considerably.
I suppose I'm posting this to ask if anybody has any ideas to help comfort me, or just perhaps some words to remind me that I'm perhaps doing right the thing?