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Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma? - Dhamma Wheel

Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Buddhist ethical conduct including the Five Precepts (Pañcasikkhāpada), and Eightfold Ethical Conduct (Aṭṭhasīla).
HWP
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Joined: Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:00 pm

Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby HWP » Tue Sep 25, 2012 11:04 am

Hi all

I have frequently encountered rude sales people, who were loud and reluctant to serve (for less than 10 mins). How do you cope? If I reacted by writing a complaint letter, can I say that its their Kamma - they were rude in the first place.

However, I had encountered these people so often (unprovoked) that I wondered if this is some Kammic occurrence.
There was once an old lady in a temple who pointed at a rubbish bin when I asked where I could put the leftover sweets I bought for the temple. Or a woman who smiled at others in the temple but frowned when looked at me; I didn't even know her. There was another case where a woman who promised to give me her name card but ended up giving someone next to me. She just glared at me condescendingly and turned away. There was once during an interview, I politely informed the interviewer about my transferable skills and she just gave a condescending look and asked "what have your peers achieved, what about you?" There were also people who snorted when I smiled at them. So far, only my beloved mother and some of my close friends (since youth or college years) are nice to me.

Is there some type of Kamma that will make people detest you just by looking? This is tiring...Grateful if anyone can provide some advice here.

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DAWN
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Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby DAWN » Tue Sep 25, 2012 11:16 am

Kamma is action, interaction
Ego i memory obout this interaction

So when some interaction have a bad fruit, and nobody want to suffer, so nodoby will repaet it, will protect himself from interactions with it.
So when some one have a bad experiance with some kind of peoples, or with somebody who have a same type of face, clothing or other external signt, so automaticly, you the one will apriciate or not this face.

Like animals.
They will protect them selves from such and such experiance, cause it brings suffer or death.

It's the same mechanism. There is no any kind of magic, just causes and consequances.
Sabbe dhamma anatta
We are not concurents...

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Hanzze
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Location: Cambodia

Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby Hanzze » Tue Sep 25, 2012 11:22 am

Just that! *smile*


BUT! it is important to become a real Buddhist first. Like Punna did: Nate sante baram sokham _()_

palchi
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Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby palchi » Tue Sep 25, 2012 11:40 am

Much of it might be down to perception and expectations. If you expect people to be unpleasant you are more likely to interpret their response that way. If you expect a certain response and you get a different one, you may take things as personal, directed against you rather than just a neutral response. If you are happy, you may interpret the same interaction differently than if you are sad, angry, upset or in a neutral state of mind.

For example, the interview example you are giving.... I have been on both sides of the interview table. The way interviews are conducted at my workplace is called 'competency based interview' - if asked about my achievements, I might for instance respond that we did a, b, c, with this and that result. The question what have you, personally, done, what was down to others would then invariably come. It's not condescending but trying to figure out what your role was in that achievement.

This is not to dismiss or criticise your experience. Just a pointer to a possible different view. We all get conditioned during our lives in how we relate to situations or other people. And in a sense that is karma. Personally, however, I see karma not as fate but as starting point to take control of my life. What has happened is gone, nothing to be done about. What I do today, in this moment, however, is entirely my responsibility. I can change anything in my life. It may take time. It may be difficult. But it can be done. And so my future changes too. And that, too, is karma.

Good luck
palchi

HWP
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Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby HWP » Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:09 pm


HWP
Posts: 26
Joined: Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:00 pm

Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby HWP » Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:10 pm


HWP
Posts: 26
Joined: Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:00 pm

Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby HWP » Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:14 pm


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Caraka
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Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby Caraka » Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:17 pm


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Hanzze
Posts: 1906
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Location: Cambodia

Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby Hanzze » Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:23 pm

Just that! *smile*


BUT! it is important to become a real Buddhist first. Like Punna did: Nate sante baram sokham _()_

HWP
Posts: 26
Joined: Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:00 pm

Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby HWP » Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:24 pm


HWP
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Joined: Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:00 pm

Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby HWP » Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:31 pm


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Sam Vara
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Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby Sam Vara » Tue Sep 25, 2012 1:42 pm


HWP
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Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby HWP » Tue Sep 25, 2012 2:04 pm


santa100
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Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby santa100 » Tue Sep 25, 2012 3:47 pm

Why do sales people show their respect when seeing a police officer or the company CEO walking into their store? It could be the authority power, the dress code, and the confidence. I don't see any police officer or company CEO lacking these 3 aspects. That's why they have the respect from everyone. Since you're not a cop nor a CEO, you won't have the 1st factor. But if you have the other 2, you'll still be able to get 2/3 the amount of respect a cop or a CEO get, and that's plenty. So for next time, pay more attention to your dress code and show more confidence and you will see a different response from those people. And if that still doesn't work, simply ask that sales person to provide his/her name and the name of his/her supervisor, you'll definitely see a change in response. Good luck..

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Caraka
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Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby Caraka » Tue Sep 25, 2012 6:58 pm


befriend
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Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby befriend » Tue Sep 25, 2012 7:56 pm

maybe because you dont love parts of yourself, others will see that in you and not like that. maybe start loving yourself more, and you will attract more positive feedback.
nothing can destroy a man who has lived a pure life

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Annapurna
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Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby Annapurna » Tue Sep 25, 2012 8:12 pm

http://www.schmuckzauberei.blogspot.com/

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Annapurna
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Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby Annapurna » Tue Sep 25, 2012 8:30 pm

Are you a girl, when you use the word "pretty"?

Or a guy?
http://www.schmuckzauberei.blogspot.com/

HWP
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Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby HWP » Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:19 pm

Thank you all for your advice, I really appreciate it.

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DAWN
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Re: Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

Postby DAWN » Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:35 pm

Peoples with bounded eyes are running
Leaded by fear and seeking of happyness
They collide with anyone who is on their road
They dont want to harm anyone
They want just to join happyness and stop running
The wise one, without bounded eyes
Can see running peoples
The wise one have compassion of them
So the wise one dont collide with them
Sabbe dhamma anatta
We are not concurents...


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