Compassion Vs real Practice

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Compassion Vs real Practice

Postby BlueLotus » Wed Oct 03, 2012 12:47 pm

I have this question about compassion. What if you have old parent to look after who is depend on you to do things. Because you want to look him after you cannot ordain or practice a lot of meditation. So I see two things

1) You have compassion and want to look after
2) Because of 1, your spiritual goal is obstructing.

What should someone do in this situation?
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Re: Compassion Vs real Practice

Postby reflection » Wed Oct 03, 2012 12:51 pm

I don't see how compassion could not be part of the practice. I'd take care of my parents as practice.
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Re: Compassion Vs real Practice

Postby santa100 » Wed Oct 03, 2012 12:59 pm

"2) Because of 1, your spiritual goal is obstructing"

Correction:

"2) Because of 1, your spiritual training is enhancing"
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Re: Compassion Vs real Practice

Postby BlueLotus » Wed Oct 03, 2012 1:03 pm

I know what you mean but what if you are unable to ordain or go for long retreats (not at least 7 days).
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Re: Compassion Vs real Practice

Postby Hanzze » Wed Oct 03, 2012 1:42 pm

BlueLotus wrote:I have this question about compassion. What if you have old parent to look after who is depend on you to do things. Because you want to look him after you cannot ordain or practice a lot of meditation. So I see two things

1) You have compassion and want to look after
2) Because of 1, your spiritual goal is obstructing.

What should someone do in this situation?

Dear BlueLotus,

Maybe that topic helps you: Ones parents and the first step into Dhamma

Also useful generally is Educating Compassion. There is no better place to learn gratitude and compassion while taking care of the parents if they are now in need.

Buddha had also given the duties in this case in the The Layperson's Code of Discipline:

The duties of a child to his (her) parents

"In five ways, young householder, a child should minister to his parents as the East:
(i) Having supported me I shall support them,
(ii) I shall do their duties,
(iii) I shall keep the family tradition,
(iv) I shall make myself worthy of my inheritance,
(v) furthermore I shall offer alms in honor of my departed relatives.(9)

(9)This is a sacred custom of the Aryans who never forgot the dead. This tradition is still faithfully observed by the Buddhists of Sri Lanka who make ceremonial offerings of alms to the monks on the eighth day, in the third month, and on each anniversary of the demise of the parents. Merit of these good actions is offered to the departed after such ceremony. Moreover after every punna-kamma (good action), a Buddhist never fails to think of his parents and offer merit. Such is the loyalty and the gratitude shown to parents as advised by the Buddha.


Behind this duties there are no.

Maybe in addition: I don't know if you have sibling or not. From a health family view it is the best (a kind of natural law) that the youngest girl (if single) or the youngest boy (also if not single) will watch over (stay with them) the parents as dutie when they are old. So you can also check out you duties and change it eventually with your siblings. There is no need to watch over them if there are others who do or can. In such a case, compassion would be rather attachment or fear that the others would not do.
Last edited by Hanzze on Thu Oct 04, 2012 2:56 am, edited 2 times in total.
Just that! *smile*
...We Buddhists must find the courage to leave our temples and enter the temples of human experience, temples that are filled with suffering. If we listen to Buddha, Christ, or Gandhi, we can do nothing else. The refugee camps, the prisons, the ghettos, and the battlefields will become our temples. We have so much work to do. ... Peace is Possible! Step by Step. - Samtach Preah Maha Ghosananda "Step by Step" http://www.ghosananda.org/bio_book.html

BUT! it is important to become a real Buddhist first. Like Punna did: Punna Sutta Nate sante baram sokham _()_
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Re: Compassion Vs real Practice

Postby santa100 » Wed Oct 03, 2012 2:03 pm

BlueLotus wrote:
"I know what you mean but what if you are unable to ordain or go for long retreats (not at least 7 days)."

Instead of a 7-day retreat or a 3-month retreat away from home, how about a full 365-day retreat at home? Are you still breathing while taking care of your parents? If yes, then that's Anapanasati training right there. Are you keeping track of the 4 foundations of body, feeling, mind, and phenomena while taking care of your parents? If yes, then that's Satipatthana training right there. Are you developing a sense of loving kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity while taking care of your parents? If yes, then that's Brahmaviharas training right there..
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Re: Compassion Vs real Practice

Postby Cittasanto » Wed Oct 03, 2012 8:08 pm

BlueLotus wrote:I have this question about compassion. What if you have old parent to look after who is depend on you to do things. Because you want to look him after you cannot ordain or practice a lot of meditation. So I see two things

1) You have compassion and want to look after
2) Because of 1, your spiritual goal is obstructing.

What should someone do in this situation?

Then make looking after them the practice!
meditate when you can, do mini-mindfulness excersises & formally meditate when you can as regularly as you can.
in any position you can be mindful, practice sila, and develop correct views and having the ability to repay the kindness of your parents is a great blessing, even if you can not repay it completely. you can get help to have a break and you could spend this time in retreat.
This offering maybe right, or wrong, but it is one, the other, both, or neither!
With Metta
Upāsaka Cittasanto
Blog, - Some Suttas Translated, Ajahn Chah.
"Others will misconstrue reality due to their personal perspectives, doggedly holding onto and not easily discarding them; We shall not misconstrue reality due to our own personal perspectives, nor doggedly holding onto them, but will discard them easily. This effacement shall be done."
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Re: Compassion Vs real Practice

Postby rowyourboat » Wed Oct 03, 2012 9:45 pm

Keep your precepts. Have metta in your mindfulness, which you try to maintain all the time.

Rub away your defilements, develop your wholesome qualities.

Then watch impermanence when your metta and mindfulness is established!

There's your samatha and vipassana -all you need for enlightenment.

Practice doesn't happen only on a cushion. Most of your practice will happen outside of retreat setting anyway.

with metta

Matheesha
With Metta

Karuna
Mudita
& Upekkha
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Re: Compassion Vs real Practice

Postby befriend » Wed Oct 03, 2012 11:45 pm

dipa ma meditated while doing household chores and look how much progress she made. she was not a nun.
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Re: Compassion Vs real Practice

Postby pegembara » Thu Oct 04, 2012 5:52 am

I am reminded of this teaching:

"Monks, I will teach you the level of a person of no integrity and the level of a person of integrity. Listen & pay close attention. I will speak."

"As you say, lord," the monks responded.

The Blessed One said, "Now what is the level of a person of no integrity? A person of no integrity is ungrateful & unthankful. This ingratitude, this lack of thankfulness, is advocated by rude people. It is entirely on the level of people of no integrity. A person of integrity is grateful & thankful. This gratitude, this thankfulness, is advocated by civil people. It is entirely on the level of people of integrity."

{II,iv,2} "I tell you, monks, there are two people who are not easy to repay. Which two? Your mother & father. Even if you were to carry your mother on one shoulder & your father on the other shoulder for 100 years, and were to look after them by anointing, massaging, bathing, & rubbing their limbs, and they were to defecate & urinate right there [on your shoulders], you would not in that way pay or repay your parents. If you were to establish your mother & father in absolute sovereignty over this great earth, abounding in the seven treasures, you would not in that way pay or repay your parents. Why is that? Mother & father do much for their children. They care for them, they nourish them, they introduce them to this world. But anyone who rouses his unbelieving mother & father, settles & establishes them in conviction; rouses his unvirtuous mother & father, settles & establishes them in virtue; rouses his stingy mother & father, settles & establishes them in generosity; rouses his foolish mother & father, settles & establishes them in discernment: To this extent one pays & repays one's mother & father."

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .than.html
And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech.
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Re: Compassion Vs real Practice

Postby BlueLotus » Thu Oct 04, 2012 12:07 pm

But anyone who rouses his unbelieving mother & father, settles & establishes them in conviction; rouses his unvirtuous mother & father, settles & establishes them in virtue; rouses his stingy mother & father, settles & establishes them in generosity; rouses his foolish mother & father, settles & establishes them in discernment: To this extent one pays & repays one's mother & father."


This is so true and I bow down respect to the great man who said the words. :bow:
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Re: Compassion Vs real Practice

Postby BlueLotus » Thu Oct 04, 2012 12:08 pm

I read your posts and I know this thought I had was incorrect. Arose because delusion in my own mind. Thanks to you all. :bow:
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