I want to share with you some personal observations concerning meditation.and i am hoping someone can help me..
I really enjoy meditating but i find that if i do it constantly my sleep pattern becomes disturbed.It's not that i'm an insomniac i'm not actually and usually have no trouble going to sleep. But the same pattern has been repeating over and over again ever since i first started meditating.When i notice this happening i have to STOP meditating all together and stick to just reading dhamma books.Which is unfortunate if your determined to practice the dhamma and have your goals set on Nibbanna.
When i go to sleep it's like my brain refuses to shut down or lose consciousness i am constantly aware of my dreams which are lucid and some of you have advised me to just ignore as it is just "another phenomenon" as it arises and passes but..the thing is..sometimes i feel this light sensation almost like my ..i don't know what to call it.. about to lift out of my body..like i'm expanding out and up..getting larger..like a baloon... up into the ceiling sensation and this WILL ALWAYS scare me into waking up. it leaves me scared. when i try to go back to sleep, i have these micro sleeps and that disturbs and wakes me and leave me in a half sleep state all through out the night. it is affecting my lifestyle especially with work.i get very tired at work.And it doesn't look very good with my boss and all. I went to the doctors to seek help and they prescribed me sleeping pills and it helps a bit but am still a little conscious and a little aware.it's like when i meditate it's very hard to lose consciousness or awareness during sleep.
I know some of you have advised me not to meditate at night or before bed,but i tried just meditating in the early morning and keeping it short but that's enough to cause this phenomenon to happen at least for a good 4 days.Although its effect gradually lessen.The only way i can solve this problem is If i stop meditating all together, the lucid dreaming and sensations subsides until i sleep normally and lose awareness normally.But the downside is i'm not meditating any more.
It's just i feel like it's really inhibiting me.I feel very sad because i truly want to progress.But i don't want to deal with this phenomenon.It's not just the sleep patterns..but the dreams i have are very just not the usual types of dreams i have.Normally i don't even remember my dreams but now it's even hard to separate it from reality.which can be terrifying to be honest.it disturbs me through out the night..and leaves me drained when i wake up because of lack of sleep.
I just feel hypersenstive.i mean i'm a very sensitive person to begin with even before i became a Buddhist.But i never had sleep problems.I got no other word to describe it.I could almost SWEAR that meditation is making me ultra sensitive. which i don't know if it is normal or not.Is it possible that meditation could be giving me a different result.I feel inner peace and calmness and even bliss,and truly enjoy meditation.i do it when i'm happy or sad.Or even when i'm not in the mood or agitated.i just do it. when i'm awake i can feel the positive effects of meditation but when i go to bed it's like i have to note all these disturbing dreams and disturbing sleep patterns..i mean dreams are like everything in your subconscious..and there's Sooo many things going on...not to mention all the other unexplainable things..like past lives,dejavus etc and i could just note it arise and pass and ignore it all but that sensation of floating..that's what actually bothers me because i physically wake up scared and it disturbs my sleep.I really feel like i'm going through an important event as crazy as this may sound..i feel like i'm dying..like i am going through death.so i find it extremely hard to ignore or note.
so can anyone kindly advice me on this please..am i doing something wrong with my practice..is this normal...
Has anyone ever encountered the same problem..please inbox me at least...
i know i'm not making much sense and but i would really appreciate any help.
I won't give up!
I also like to know...can meditation have negative results..I see this as a negative result..