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Feeling a llittle negative (but don't want to) - Dhamma Wheel

Feeling a llittle negative (but don't want to)

Buddhist ethical conduct including the Five Precepts (Pañcasikkhāpada), and Eightfold Ethical Conduct (Aṭṭhasīla).
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Beautiful Breath
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Feeling a llittle negative (but don't want to)

Postby Beautiful Breath » Wed Nov 21, 2012 2:04 pm

I have been asking for some guidance for a while now from a Monk who is resident in a Monastery near me. Seems every time I ask he is too busy (usually with other people :thinking: !!). He knows me very well and we have had many long walks and conversations...not sure whats happening. I am trying hard not to develop a negative mind but its hard I have to say... I was at the Monastery recently and although he said he didn't have time to speak to me, he was arranging meet up with other people staying there. At one point he actually arranged to see a lay practitioner whilst I was present, which seemed a little harsh given my request fo the same.

Odd but it sort of fits in with my friend asking about what she sees as a one way system. We support ordained Sangha in their chosen life, but can we not reasonabley expect a little guidance when requested?

BB...

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tiltbillings
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Re: Feeling a llittle negative (but don't want to)

Postby tiltbillings » Wed Nov 21, 2012 2:16 pm


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Beautiful Breath
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Re: Feeling a llittle negative (but don't want to)

Postby Beautiful Breath » Wed Nov 21, 2012 2:52 pm

I get that...I work as a Psychological Therapist myself. I just can't help thinking a reply would be polite...or passing it on to someone else... I am somewhat stuck in my practice and really need to talk it through.

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DAWN
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Re: Feeling a llittle negative (but don't want to)

Postby DAWN » Wed Nov 21, 2012 5:24 pm

Perharps your relationship become to close?

I have some peoples who ask me some advices, they ask me all and everytime, so by compassion to them, i stoped to answer, i went away for some time. When i return, and said that i am here, and i saw that their wisdom was much more developped, and now they was able to answer their own questions.
Sabbe dhamma anatta
We are not concurents...

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BubbaBuddhist
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Re: Feeling a llittle negative (but don't want to)

Postby BubbaBuddhist » Wed Nov 21, 2012 10:41 pm

True--sometimes no answer IS an answer.

BB
Author of Redneck Buddhism: or Will You Reincarnate as Your Own Cousin?

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Cittasanto
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Re: Feeling a llittle negative (but don't want to)

Postby Cittasanto » Wed Nov 21, 2012 11:00 pm

maybe there are other things at play and he doesn't feel he can talk to you at the moment? or maybe he is not realising what he is doing?

try not to put to much thought into why, but try to develop wholesome states of mind.
either way you have a good source of experience here on DW.


He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.

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Beautiful Breath
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Re: Feeling a llittle negative (but don't want to)

Postby Beautiful Breath » Thu Nov 22, 2012 1:11 pm


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Cittasanto
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Re: Feeling a llittle negative (but don't want to)

Postby Cittasanto » Thu Nov 22, 2012 5:42 pm



He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.

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Kamran
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Re: Feeling a llittle negative (but don't want to)

Postby Kamran » Thu Nov 22, 2012 7:08 pm

It seems that you feel entitled to guidance but perhaps you have to earn that over a long period of time. THeravadan culture is not western culture. Also, I think we all tend to convert our personal preferences, in this case your preference that the monk reply to you, into absolutistic demands (he should reply to you!). This is irrational in my opinion.
"Silence gives answers"

Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi

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Beautiful Breath
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Re: Feeling a llittle negative (but don't want to)

Postby Beautiful Breath » Sun Nov 25, 2012 8:01 pm

I was only after some advice. Nothing more. 'Theravadin' Culture??? Its England in the 21st Century. Thats being rational!

Anyway, not to worry... :anjali:

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Re: Feeling a llittle negative (but don't want to)

Postby Yana » Mon Nov 26, 2012 6:47 am

Dear BB,

Have you tried talking to him about this directly :smile:
Life is preparing for Death

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Beautiful Breath
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Re: Feeling a llittle negative (but don't want to)

Postby Beautiful Breath » Mon Nov 26, 2012 12:28 pm

No, really didn't want to get into something that might disturb (either of ours) practice. I guess its just me reading too much into it. Just seems after some very helpful and in depth conversations it dried up suddenly. Anyway, I don't want to sound like a jilted teenager or anything :jumping:

In the meantime I will post in here regarding the questions I was going to ask him.

Thanks again for your support!

:bow:


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