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Sexual Misconduct - Page 4 - Dhamma Wheel

Sexual Misconduct

Buddhist ethical conduct including the Five Precepts (Pañcasikkhāpada), and Eightfold Ethical Conduct (Aṭṭhasīla).
Tehuti
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Tehuti » Sun Nov 18, 2012 6:29 pm

I know this may be slightly off-topic, but I would like to raise the following question:

What would be the advice for those tormented by thoughts of unrequited love?

For those who live life on the outside, and see the relationships of others and experience longing - maybe even suffering?

There must be an antidote to these pangs - a way of transcending - but this sort of thing can be so deep set, it becomes difficult to see a way out.

Thank you.

:anjali:

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BubbaBuddhist
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby BubbaBuddhist » Sun Nov 18, 2012 7:51 pm

Been there. The only cure I know of is requited love. There's more, lots more than one person out there for everyone.

BB
Author of Redneck Buddhism: or Will You Reincarnate as Your Own Cousin?

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Dan74
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Dan74 » Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:20 pm

_/|\_

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convivium
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby convivium » Sat Dec 08, 2012 10:00 pm

i want to direct this message at younger people, like me, who are single, already dedicated to the dhamma, have done several retreats, and attempted to keep the precepts for some years. granted this, i want to say this as unassumingly as possible: all the greatest masters were celibate or abstained from orgasm. if you didn't know that, then look into it. there's a reason the buddha said it's better to put your penis in a snake rather than a women to ananda. in some contexts, in some traditions (nyingma, e.g.) your own hand can be worse than having sex with an actual person. no, it's not painless to be celibate.
there came a point in my practice where i realized that either i stop masturbating or i don't progress. when you take away forms of escape, especially those outlined in the precepts, you have to face yourself more directly. that means a lot of pain, because life is suffering.
i found the following analogy to be very helpful: it's like being trapped in a flood, by your leg and the water is rising. would you let it drown you, or have someone saw your leg off right away? really the orgasm is so deeply imbedded in the psyche (not to generalize, but even the buddha said that lust is the hardest kilesa to overcome) that it is the psychological equivalent of having one's leg cut off. before you take oath's of chastity (if you were to), keep this in mind.
Just keep breathing in and out like this. Don't be interested in anything else. It doesn't matter even if someone is standing on their head with their ass in the air. Don't pay it any attention. Just stay with the in-breath and the out-breath. Concentrate your awareness on the breath. Just keep doing it. http://www.ajahnchah.org/book/Just_Do_It_1_2.php

SittingSilent
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 11:36 pm

Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby SittingSilent » Sun Dec 09, 2012 10:19 pm

I may have what might be a unique problem related to attempting celibacy and not involving myself in self-pleasurement (to use a more discrete term). I am a FTM transperson, so because my body does not naturally produce testosterone I must inject it on a weekly basis to maintain bone density, proper blood cells, etc along with the expect reasons of male presentation, etc. Unfortunately a major side effect of testosterone hormone therapy is a huge increase in libido. I can easily restrain myself from directing this towards other people, but as for not releasing it at all, now that has become a problem. Does anyone have a suggestion for how to deal with my libido while not engaging in behaviors that are undesirable. I would love to be able to follow the five precepts!

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Cittasanto
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Cittasanto » Sun Dec 09, 2012 10:55 pm



He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.

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Cittasanto
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Cittasanto » Sun Dec 09, 2012 11:00 pm

and although today seams to be a day of coincidences just came accross this video in the sujjestions


He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.

mysticmorn
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2013 8:24 pm

Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby mysticmorn » Thu Jan 10, 2013 8:31 pm

Sexual misconduct traditionally also meant no sex between a Dharma teacher and the students. This was because in the old days, the students took temporary vows of celibacy while under the guidance of a teacher. Though times have changed, this seems like a very good rule to follow. Since the students tend to put a tremendous amount of trust in the teachers, there is a clear power differential between students and teachers. Care needs to be taken that the students' faith and sacred trust in the teacher not be violated.

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Sovatthika
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Sovatthika » Sun Aug 27, 2017 7:01 am

namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā sambuddhassa

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Mkoll
Posts: 6269
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 6:55 pm
Location: California

Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Mkoll » Sun Aug 27, 2017 7:33 am

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa

DooDoot
Posts: 129
Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:06 pm

Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby DooDoot » Sun Aug 27, 2017 9:25 am


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Aloka
Posts: 5517
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 2:51 pm

Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Aloka » Sun Aug 27, 2017 1:38 pm

.

Are there any prohibited types of men for guys in gay relationships, or for women in heterosexual relationships?


:anjali:
Last edited by Aloka on Sun Aug 27, 2017 7:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Garrib
Posts: 193
Joined: Mon May 30, 2016 8:35 pm

Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Garrib » Sun Aug 27, 2017 5:01 pm


DooDoot
Posts: 129
Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:06 pm

Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby DooDoot » Sun Aug 27, 2017 7:48 pm


binocular
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby binocular » Mon Aug 28, 2017 8:19 am


binocular
Posts: 3391
Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 11:13 pm

Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby binocular » Mon Aug 28, 2017 8:21 am

Here's a recent Dhamma talk by , no. 32 Celibacy and Sexuality – 4th July 2017.


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