so i meditate a lot, am very mindful and study the dhamma. things become wonderful, i see through reality bit by bit and make great progress. then one of two things happen (or both, i'm really not sure):
1. i feel so good i slack off in practice and therefore go back to largely fluctuating emotions and what not. "i'm nearly accomplished in the dhamma! i don't even need to meditate or chant my sutta and be super mindful today!"
2. i'm on some kind of cycle based on what chemicals my brain is producing. like i produce a ton of serotonin for three weeks then not near enough for two weeks and then a ton again and so on.
i'm thinking number one is more likely as my eating and sleeping habits vary greatly and the cycle is inconsistent. i tried tracking it but it doesn't follow a precise pattern. if it was related to brain chemicals then diet and sleeping habits would affect it directly. so i'm thinking it's just right effort slacking off. if i can do better on that step it should fix itself.