Divorced Again....Naturally!

Casual discussion amongst spiritual friends.
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BubbaBuddhist
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Divorced Again....Naturally!

Postby BubbaBuddhist » Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:02 pm

Hot on the heels of my recent third divorce, I get asked this a lot: "Why do you keep getting married?" :D My response is that just because you don't get something right the first time, it doesn't mean you should give up. It's like if you buy a dog, and the dog eventually dies, you think, "Well, I'll never buy another dog. They die." Not that spouses are like dogs. Unless, of course, they are, but that's the topic of next week's Dr Phil: "Is your man a dog?"

Some of my hipper Buddhist friends say in response to my admittedly disastrous romantic past, "Everything's impermanent," meaning, I assume, that these marriages were bound to end someday. Impermanence is often interpreted to mean that things end. I've had a lot of experience with things apparently ending, and I think that this is not true. Marriages may end, but the relationship doesn't. It changes. Sometimes even within a relationship, the changes can be radical. Sometimes these changes are survivable; sometimes not.

I've never been one to give up, on anything. Failure isn't an option. At age fifty I went back to college to finish a degree I left hanging thirty years ago, and begun seriously studying piano, the first music lessons of my life. I finished that degree, so now I have three college degrees, none of which are currently marketable but my head is full of all kinds of arcane knowledge.

Last semester my Italian teacher asked me if I was ever going to marry again. I answered, "Amo le donne," ('I love women,") and she laughed. "You will, then." And I might. I'm neither bitter nor disappointed. Furthermore, I'm in love. Like I said, amo le donne, I so amo le donne very much. :jumping:

BuB
Author of Redneck Buddhism: or Will You Reincarnate as Your Own Cousin?

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daverupa
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Re: Divorced Again....Naturally!

Postby daverupa » Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:07 pm


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Ben
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Re: Divorced Again....Naturally!

Postby Ben » Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:30 pm

Hi J,
From what I understand what's been going on in your life, I think the divorce was a good move.
Kind regards,
Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

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Dan74
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Re: Divorced Again....Naturally!

Postby Dan74 » Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:45 pm

I guess some people are great for falling in love with but not so great for living together.

Not sure if this was or is the case, but maybe something to be aware of (for the young ones, or the young at heart ones!)
_/|\_

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Viscid
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Re: Divorced Again....Naturally!

Postby Viscid » Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:53 pm

Why do your marriages keep failing? Any common theme?
"What holds attention determines action." - William James

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Ben
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Re: Divorced Again....Naturally!

Postby Ben » Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:02 pm

This may come as a complete surprise, viscid, it's normal for marriages to end in divorce.
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

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Viscid
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Re: Divorced Again....Naturally!

Postby Viscid » Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:04 pm

"What holds attention determines action." - William James

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equilibrium
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Re: Divorced Again....Naturally!

Postby equilibrium » Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:20 pm


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retrofuturist
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Re: Divorced Again....Naturally!

Postby retrofuturist » Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:38 pm

"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh

"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead" - Thomas Paine

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Viscid
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Re: Divorced Again....Naturally!

Postby Viscid » Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:48 pm

"What holds attention determines action." - William James

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poto
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Re: Divorced Again....Naturally!

Postby poto » Thu Jan 24, 2013 2:33 am


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Anagarika
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Re: Divorced Again....Naturally!

Postby Anagarika » Thu Jan 24, 2013 2:59 am


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manas
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Re: Divorced Again....Naturally!

Postby manas » Thu Jan 24, 2013 3:00 am

Edit: whether true or not, my post here was written with a mind of aversion rather than wisdom, and in hindsight, was better left unsaid.

metta :anjali:
Last edited by manas on Thu Jan 24, 2013 3:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

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Dan74
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Re: Divorced Again....Naturally!

Postby Dan74 » Thu Jan 24, 2013 3:22 am

_/|\_

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manas
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Re: Divorced Again....Naturally!

Postby manas » Fri Jan 25, 2013 1:57 am

Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."


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