perkele wrote:Two ideas:
1) correct your mistakes - keep an eye on what's going wrong in you and try to correct that. Then you can feel good about that. When you notice you behaved silly, apologize if it seems to make sense. When others behave silly as well, then still, it's good to try that, try to keep that attitude at least that it would be good to apologize if possible.
This is a difficult medicine to swallow. That we make mistakes or even the gurus we love can make mistakes.
Yes, we all make mistakes.
Even arahats can make "mistakes" in some way it seems. Although these mistakes are without blame, because they have no wrong intentions. Think of Sariputta for example. Even though he was already an arahat, and he was regarded as the disciple foremost in wisdom and understanding, I remember in the suttas two instances still where the Buddha corrected him. Of course, Sariputta had no problem with that. He was an arahat and did not think in terms of self. He had no conceit, he could not take it as an insult, and of course it was also not intended so by the Buddha. So there was actually no mistake on either side. It was just a very pragmatic thing. And there was actually no real blame in Sariputta's actions. Because he had no greed, hatred and delusion, and no conceit. He only did what he thought was best, but still, the Buddha could tell him something slightly better. That would be better for others, not for him, because he had already given up his self.
Of course that's on a very different level than our problems.
I don't believe that your Guru is an arahat. But of course I do not know. It's not important for me, since I have nothing to do with him.
As long as we are not arahats we don't know.
Sometimes people can tell us something better, sometimes not. Sometimes we can tell others something better, sometimes not. We must see for ourselves and look that we do good from our heart. Even if we don't know we must try, just keep that direction. And maybe sometimes it's the best to shut up, because we don't know.
I also make mistakes. And I don't know if what I told you is very helpful or not. I only tried to say something useful at that moment.
As long as we are not really sure, as long as we are also liable to mistakes, we should know that we are liable to mistakes, and therefor we should also be forgiving. Forgiving is more fundamental than apologizing. When you are always able to forgive, then you won't have too many problems. But you must still not get blind to possible mistakes. You must know for yourself. That is also a way to reduce self-cherishing. When you can forgive yourself, you can forgive others. When you can forgive others, you can forgive yourself. Then you become a bit more free inside. Without forgiveness one cannot even see the mistakes clearly. So how could one be in a position correct them? How could one be able to correct them?
But the only mistakes you are really bound to correct in the end are your own. From others you can learn maybe sometimes, in very different ways. When you try to be a good example you will find good examples to learn from. In the end you don't need examples anymore, because you know for yourself, without clinging to self. Like Sariputta.
So that's our goal.
So that's all I have to say. If it is useful or not, I don't know.