I realize that a lot of my suffering comes from my judgemental personality. Because of this, I constanly critique others (almost always negatively) and judge myself the same. This has led to a lot of suffering because I sometimes feel I have no love, kindness, compassion for anybody as well as myself. In order to work against this, I have tried to learn to be accepting. To accept what I see as "negative" qualities in others and "negative" qualities In myself. But by taking this approach, is this the right way?? Ultimately I need to work towards overcoming such qualities like arrogance, jealously, self-centredness etc., but as a first step, is it okay to accept these qualities? Accept and "love" these qualities? Because by me telling myself that such "negative" states are "bad", I realize I have spent my entire life telling myself that I am "bad" and others are "bad" and this has caused so much anxiety, insecurity, negative feelings and suffering.
I have thought, well, I will learn to accept myself, good and bad, and after I do so, I will work towards removing the negative qualities. But when I look at it this way, Im still essentially telling myself these qualities are "bad" because how can you accept something you want to get rid of? Sorry to make this go on for so long, but i just realized what my question really is. How do you learn to accept a "negative" quality while still keeping yourself open towards overcoming it?
And Sorry for saying myself like a thousand times, cant think of a different word.