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Postby Placid-pool » Fri Jan 16, 2009 6:51 pm

Excuse me for sticking my oar in but I am troubled.

I left "that other place" because there was far too much sniping, bitchiness and general unkindness going on.

I understood that as well as being a purely Theravadan site, this one would be a kinder and gentler place to post but unfortunately some of the posters on here seem to be adopting the same dismissive, mocking, unkind and unpleasant tone. It may be that some people are posting in English which is not their native language - I doubt it somehow. I feel that some members are just carrying on the one-upmanship and up-yours attitude that I found so distasteful "over there".

Is this a Buddhist thing? I don't know because I am not a Buddhist and the ones I know personally seem able to conduct a discussion in a calm and rational manner. Or is it something to do with on-line Buddhist sites? Do people feel they have to get "Bodhisattva-er than thou" with other members? Is sarcasm a requisite?

Right speech would seem to have taken a nose dive somewhere along the line in a tradition described by one person as "my religion is kindness".

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Re: Kindness

Postby bodom » Fri Jan 16, 2009 7:04 pm

If you are motivated by loving kindness and compassion, there are many ways to bring happiness to others right now, starting with kind speech.
- Thich Nhat Hanh
The heart of the path is SO simple. No need for long explanations. Give up clinging to love and hate, just rest with things as they are. That is all I do in my own practice. Do not try to become anything. Do not make yourself into anything. Do not be a meditator. Do not become enlightened. When you sit, let it be. When you walk, let it be. Grasp at nothing. Resist nothing. Of course, there are dozens of meditation techniques to develop samadhi and many kinds of vipassana. But it all comes back to this - just let it all be. Step over here where it is cool, out of the battle. - Ajahn Chah

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Ngawang Drolma.
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Re: Kindness

Postby Ngawang Drolma. » Fri Jan 16, 2009 7:21 pm

Hi all,

I start with myself and my own loving-kindness.
The rest tends to follow. And when it doesn't, well...


But I always check my own activity first.

Some of the people here who might be accused of sect-bashing and such have helped me in the past to peek at my own attachments and imagined righteousness. And turned out to be helpful in other ways too. Appearances can be deceiving; we rarely know another's intent.

Just my two cents Image

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Re: Kindness

Postby tiltbillings » Fri Jan 16, 2009 7:22 pm


"Over there" can be kind of rough, unnecessarily so, but there is something to learn from that, if in the very least what our reactions to it are. Also, it gives us a chance to be kind. I am sure here you'll find some pointy behavior from time to time, but I hope not too much and I hope that mostly we treat each other with kindness. This bears repeating:

If you are motivated by loving kindness and compassion, there are many ways to bring happiness to others right now, starting with kind speech.
- Thich Nhat Hanh

This being is bound to samsara, kamma is his means for going beyond. -- SN I, 38.

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” HPatDH p.723

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Re: Kindness

Postby Placid-pool » Fri Jan 16, 2009 7:43 pm

Oh yes - those who set themselves up as the fount of all knowledge and wisdom are a fine example not to follow. Those who denigrate and belittle the previous poster are a great teacher ....... but it still upsets me to see kind and compassionate people treated in a manner that is far from civil.

You can say that shows me I have a lot to learn ... which is true. But could I possibly appeal for a little MORE kindness and respect? Respect is a word much mis-used in European society - if we have no respect for others we can have very little respect for ourselves. I think.

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Re: Kindness

Postby Fede » Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:48 pm

The counter-balance to Respect, is Dignity.
If we can conduct ourselves with Dignity, and afford others Respect - frankly, I don't see how anyone can go wrong.
"Samsara: The human condition's heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment." Elizabeth Gilbert, 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

Simplify: 17 into 1 WILL go: Mindfulness!

Quieta movere magna merces videbatur. (Sallust, c.86-c.35 BC)
Translation: Just to stir things up seemed a good reward in itself. ;)

I am sooooo happy - How on earth could I be otherwise?! :D

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Paul Davy
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Re: Kindness

Postby Paul Davy » Sat Jan 17, 2009 10:56 am


A reminder of our Terms of Service, as they currently stand, which should help facilitate kindness in discussion.

Terms Of Service

If you've not read them, please do so... it will only take a few seconds.

Retro. :)
What is the final conviction that comes when radical attention is razor-edge sharp? That the object of the mind is mind-made (manomaya). (Ven. Ñāṇananda)

Having understood name-and-form, which is a product of prolificity,
And which is the root of all malady within and without,
He is released from bondage to the root of all maladies,
That Such-like-one is truly known as 'the one who has understood'.
(Snp 3.6)

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