Welcome to Dhamma Wheel.
Possibly also worth pointing out, that there's different forums here, each with a different focus, and sometimes different guidelines. Some may appeal to you, and some may not... and that's perfectly OK. If any subject matter is going to be distressing and of no benefit to your practice, it may be best to stick clear of it.
Retro. (also in Victoria)
What is the final conviction that comes when radical attention is razor-edge sharp? That the object of the mind is mind-made (manomaya). (Ven. Ñāṇananda)
Having understood name-and-form, which is a product of prolificity,
And which is the root of all malady within and without,
He is released from bondage to the root of all maladies,
That Such-like-one is truly known as 'the one who has understood'. (Snp 3.6)