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being nicer on here - Page 3 - Dhamma Wheel

being nicer on here

Tell us how you think the forum can be improved. We will listen.
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manas
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby manas » Wed Apr 17, 2013 9:21 am

Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

binocular
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby binocular » Wed Apr 17, 2013 9:44 am

Last edited by binocular on Wed Apr 17, 2013 9:51 am, edited 2 times in total.

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BlackBird
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby BlackBird » Wed Apr 17, 2013 9:44 am

It's not actually that hard to not be an asshole, especially if you meditate as many here claim to do.

If there's one place on the internet that should eschew harsh speech, it should be a Buddhist forum. The sentiment expressed here by many seems to be something along the lines of: "Toughen up, it's the way of the world." - Sure, we should be used to putting up with this from those who do not practice the Dhamma, but those who practice Dhamma should strive to be nice people, not to be caustic or snappy to those who ask questions they've heard a millions times, or to those who express a view point that one disagrees with. There's nothing more detrimental to the overall health and longevity of a discussion forum than an unwelcoming atmosphere, caused by a bunch of people that see it as their duty to shoot down and destroy any view that doesn't accord with their own. I've seen it happen to more than one place, and I'd hate to see it happen here. We should endeavour to cultivate harmony here on the board. It's one thing to wish for someone's happiness, it's another thing altogether to take action to try and make it so.

metta
Jack
"For a disciple who has conviction in the Teacher's message & lives to penetrate it, what accords with the Dhamma is this:
'The Blessed One is the Teacher, I am a disciple. He is the one who knows, not I." -

binocular
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby binocular » Wed Apr 17, 2013 9:50 am


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Spiny Norman
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby Spiny Norman » Wed Apr 17, 2013 1:06 pm

"My religion is very simple - my religion is ice-cream."
Dairy Lama

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kirk5a
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby kirk5a » Wed Apr 17, 2013 2:00 pm

I think it's more fun to figure out how to skillfully respond to rudeness than it is to tell others to stop being rude. Or, to figure out how to not be rude myself. Or, figure out how to respond when someone perceives what I said as rude, when I didn't mean to be rude. Anyway, the only gains I can see happening are by "being the change you wish to see."

But really, I don't see that much of a problem on DhammaWheel that needs all that much fixing really. I guess others have a different perception of the atmosphere here. The moderators do a great job of taking care of the stuff that crosses the line, and the rest I chalk up to the imperfections of human behavior. Which leaves the bulk of it, which I think is just fine - welcoming, accepting of different viewpoints and levels of familiarity with the Dhamma and so forth.
"When one thing is practiced & pursued, ignorance is abandoned, clear knowing arises, the conceit 'I am' is abandoned, latent tendencies are uprooted, fetters are abandoned. Which one thing? Mindfulness immersed in the body." -AN 1.230

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yawares
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby yawares » Wed Apr 17, 2013 2:24 pm


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SDC
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby SDC » Wed Apr 17, 2013 2:50 pm


alan
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby alan » Wed Apr 17, 2013 3:23 pm

The best way to be nice is to speak directly to the point.
Niceness is good, but understanding is better. If everyone cloaked themselves in a veil of niceness, we'd be like an Asian society, where you just can't figure out what people really mean, because they are always smiling.

This isn't a monastery or a meditation retreat, its a forum. In forums, we exchange ideas, thoughts and opinions.

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yawares
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby yawares » Wed Apr 17, 2013 3:31 pm


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Cittasanto
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby Cittasanto » Wed Apr 17, 2013 4:27 pm

People will read into things what they will, no-one can please everyone, and treating newcomers with kids gloves or with some special niceness is fake and only infantilizes newcomers.

Some people are pointed, and others will interpret this in various ways. This perception of rudeness is at times for no other reason than how people communicate. Yet I would say fallacious arguments are far ruder, and these can be put in the nicest possible way.


He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.

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David N. Snyder
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby David N. Snyder » Wed Apr 17, 2013 4:32 pm

Image




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yawares
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby yawares » Wed Apr 17, 2013 5:23 pm

[quote="Cittasanto"]People will read into things what they will, no-one can please everyone, and treating newcomers with kids gloves or with some special niceness is fake and only infantilizes newcomers.
quote]
-----------
Dear Cittasanto

Disco Duck: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxf2KCSyvgQ

yawares :thinking:

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Cittasanto
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby Cittasanto » Wed Apr 17, 2013 5:53 pm



He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.

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Sarnath
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby Sarnath » Wed Apr 17, 2013 8:21 pm

Namaste

A Forum is more approximate to a Satsang and not a book.

As a satsang, it is more aligned with what the Buddha exampled in bringing Buddhahood Marga to others.

Isn't it true that the Buddha did not sit out in a park under trees and with birds and deer and human souls, He did not then slap down a book on the grass and say "read". He gave satsang, and those assembled heard, asked, asked others wbat they heard, and the Buddha exampled the behaviour of satsang and showed the example.

Isn't a forum an amazing assemble of satsang and a chance to example the satsang of Lord Buddha?

That is why it is better than a book for aspirants. Those who Know can be leaders of satsang, and those who do not know such as myself will want to sit with you and the assemblage. The forum is like a park or a garden where even deer are not afraid to gather. Or it can be like a zoo, and perhaps the deer do not want to stay for very long.

I do not understand rudeness ever from those who are leaders in satsang. Where and who was rude makes a huge difference to "newbies" such as myself.

In your service ....
Caste System is Not Karma, it is Man Made

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Bhikkhu Pesala
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby Bhikkhu Pesala » Wed Apr 17, 2013 8:52 pm

• • • • (Upasampadā: 24th June, 1979)

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BlackBird
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby BlackBird » Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:10 am

"For a disciple who has conviction in the Teacher's message & lives to penetrate it, what accords with the Dhamma is this:
'The Blessed One is the Teacher, I am a disciple. He is the one who knows, not I." -

binocular
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Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 11:13 pm

Re: being nicer on here

Postby binocular » Thu Apr 18, 2013 5:22 am


binocular
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby binocular » Thu Apr 18, 2013 5:44 am


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Spiny Norman
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Re: being nicer on here

Postby Spiny Norman » Thu Apr 18, 2013 8:47 am

"My religion is very simple - my religion is ice-cream."
Dairy Lama


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