Losing Touch of Reality

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Losing Touch of Reality

Postby Strive4Karuna » Mon Apr 22, 2013 4:45 pm

I feel like I have lost touch of reality. Living mindfully helps us bring ourselves back to what is real. When I am mindful the experience is very overwhelming. When I am unmindful, I am a kid stuck in the exact same phase of his life, never growing up. When I am mindful, suddenly I see myself for where I am right now, the age I am, I am 20 and become 20, not 20 living like he is 14 years old. I need to know, is this because I have fallen into an inferior state where not only am I unmindful but even less mindful then the norm where I completely lose touch with reality. When I am mindful, it is like people see me, when I am unmindful it is like i am invisible. I am an "Indigo" born with a third eye. When I am mindful, my third eye becomes active and I penetrate deep into reality, I need to know what is considered "normal" for someone who is unmindful and "unnormal" for someone who is unmindful. Have I made it a habit my entire life to live in a way that is so dillusive I lose touch even with those who live unmindfully?
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Re: Losing Touch of Reality

Postby Modus.Ponens » Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:10 pm

Please provide more concrete parameters by which we can evaluate if you are less mindful than normal. I would say that it's normal to have 20 and feel like 14. Nothing out of the usual. However, the title of the thread worries me.
And the Blessed One addressed the bhikkhus, saying: "Behold now, bhikkhus, I exhort you: All compounded things are subject to vanish. Strive with earnestness!"
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Re: Losing Touch of Reality

Postby Strive4Karuna » Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:18 pm

Modus.Ponens wrote:Please provide more concrete parameters by which we can evaluate if you are less mindful than normal. I would say that it's normal to have 20 and feel like 14. Nothing out of the usual. However, the title of the thread worries me.


No. This is not me acting like I am 14 even though I am 20. This is me awakening, like woah? Have I been sleeping my entire life or what? Suddenly I become 20 years old. It is like I have been stuck in one phase of my life living so unmindfully that I have been asleep and through mindfulness awaken to reality. It is litterally like I am little kid, suddenly through mindfulness I become a man.
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Re: Losing Touch of Reality

Postby Strive4Karuna » Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:30 pm

I know I have been blessed with gifts which are not normal. I now need to sort out what is my ignorance and what is my gift. I have been born to help people. I have the ability to help people a long their path I know this. As a child I could see details and analyze people in ways that no adult could not to mention any other child. Right now, I need someone to guide me. To help me realize, what part of my experience is my gift. What part of my experience is my ignorance.
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Re: Losing Touch of Reality

Postby Aloka » Mon Apr 22, 2013 8:55 pm

Strive4Karuna wrote:I know I have been blessed with gifts which are not normal. I now need to sort out what is my ignorance and what is my gift. I have been born to help people. I have the ability to help people a long their path I know this. As a child I could see details and analyze people in ways that no adult could not to mention any other child. Right now, I need someone to guide me. To help me realize, what part of my experience is my gift. What part of my experience is my ignorance.


Have you ever considered visiting a Buddhist centre or a monastery and talking to a teacher or a monk about your practice ? It might be a good idea to do that.

.
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Re: Losing Touch of Reality

Postby Strive4Karuna » Mon Apr 22, 2013 9:52 pm

Aloka wrote:
Strive4Karuna wrote:I know I have been blessed with gifts which are not normal. I now need to sort out what is my ignorance and what is my gift. I have been born to help people. I have the ability to help people a long their path I know this. As a child I could see details and analyze people in ways that no adult could not to mention any other child. Right now, I need someone to guide me. To help me realize, what part of my experience is my gift. What part of my experience is my ignorance.


Have you ever considered visiting a Buddhist centre or a monastery and talking to a teacher or a monk about your practice ? It might be a good idea to do that.

.

Yes I have.
I almost feel like no one understands me, that I need someone with enough spiritual power to read my mind in order to understand what I am going through. My best friend has been a monk for 12 years, he is knowledgable and is constantly asked by others to help them in their practice. He is unable to help or understand me and he graduated from a buddhist monastic university with the top grades in all his class. He once said to me " around everybody I feel like I am their teacher, but around you I feel like your my equal, maybe even my teacher." I know this is arrogant, but I feel like I need a stream enterer or higher to really understand what I am going through and help me.
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Re: Losing Touch of Reality

Postby Aloka » Mon Apr 22, 2013 10:08 pm

It might be worthwhile doing a retreat somewhere where there is an experienced meditation teacher -even if its just for a weekend.

Theres a worldwide search facility for centres and monasteries at the Buddhanet site:

http://www.buddhanet.info/wbd/
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Re: Losing Touch of Reality

Postby Ben » Mon Apr 22, 2013 10:24 pm

Aloka wrote:It might be worthwhile doing a retreat somewhere where there is an experienced meditation teacher -even if its just for a weekend.

Theres a worldwide search facility for centres and monasteries at the Buddhanet site:

http://www.buddhanet.info/wbd/


Seconded.
Aloka's suggestion may prove very beneficial for you.
wishing you the best,

Ben
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Re: Losing Touch of Reality

Postby Digity » Tue Apr 23, 2013 2:36 am

I felt very out of touch with reality in my 20s. It could just be a phase. I feel much more grounded now and have a better understanding of the teachings. You should seek some guidance, if you can. Just make sure not to overwhelm yourself. The practice is meant to help you...not you make you lose touch with reality, etc.
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Re: Losing Touch of Reality

Postby manas » Tue Apr 23, 2013 3:10 am

Digity wrote:I felt very out of touch with reality in my 20s. It could just be a phase. I feel much more grounded now and have a better understanding of the teachings. You should seek some guidance, if you can. Just make sure not to overwhelm yourself. The practice is meant to help you...not you make you lose touch with reality, etc.

seconded.

(and.i.can.relate
because.i.was.quite.ungrounded
in.my/early.twenties)
***

Hello.strive.for.karuna,
I.like.to.recollect.the.Buddha
who.despite.having.the.ability.to.levitate
or.easily.travel.to.anyplace.in.the.Cosmos.he.wished
used.to.just.walk.around.most.of.the.time
with.his.two.feet.on.the.ground
i.find.it.very.inspiring
how.simply.he.lived

we.can.recollect
that.if.the.Buddha.with.all.his.powers
and.greatness.as.the.discoverer.of.the.Path
nevertheless.lived.quite.simply
in.a.down.to.earth.way
so.too.should.we
follow.that.example

none.of.us.should.think.of.ourselves
as.great.or.special
we.are.just.very.fortunate.beings
who.have.contacted.the.Teachings
that.have.been.handed.down.to.us

walking.meditation.i.find
to.be.quite.grounding
also.to.eat.and.sleep.healthily
can.assist
may.you.be.well
metta
:anjali:
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Re: Losing Touch of Reality

Postby BlackBird » Tue Apr 23, 2013 3:55 am

Ben wrote:
Aloka wrote:It might be worthwhile doing a retreat somewhere where there is an experienced meditation teacher -even if its just for a weekend.

Theres a worldwide search facility for centres and monasteries at the Buddhanet site:

http://www.buddhanet.info/wbd/


Seconded.
Aloka's suggestion may prove very beneficial for you.
wishing you the best,

Ben


Thirded. Best thing for ya man.

metta
Jack
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'The Blessed One is the Teacher, I am a disciple. He is the one who knows, not I." - MN. 70 Kitagiri Sutta
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Re: Losing Touch of Reality

Postby Strive4Karuna » Tue Apr 23, 2013 3:52 pm

Thanks for all the responses. My guess is, yes i live less mindful then most people yet at the same time my ability allows me to be more mindful then most when im focused. Right now it's all assumptions but it seems like its a double edges sword. I have met other people with third eye and visit an online community of people like me but I don't think there going through the same thing as me. I feel like I have so many issues to solve, the way I was raised when younger has pretty much destroyed me psychologically and being an "indigo" feeling like the outcast of outcast has killed me. Imagine living with no self esteem, no social skills and on top of that always feeling different. I have too many anxieties and can barely look anyone in the eyes without feeling uncomfortable. My anxieties are the reason for my level of mindfulness being less then the norm as they cloud my mind and push me into a pretty bad state of dillusiveness. I feel like I have to work extra hard when it comes to mindfulness because of my complications. I appreciate all the responses and took something from everyone.
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Re: Losing Touch of Reality

Postby Digity » Wed Apr 24, 2013 2:50 am

Strive4Karuna wrote:Thanks for all the responses. My guess is, yes i live less mindful then most people yet at the same time my ability allows me to be more mindful then most when im focused. Right now it's all assumptions but it seems like its a double edges sword. I have met other people with third eye and visit an online community of people like me but I don't think there going through the same thing as me. I feel like I have so many issues to solve, the way I was raised when younger has pretty much destroyed me psychologically and being an "indigo" feeling like the outcast of outcast has killed me. Imagine living with no self esteem, no social skills and on top of that always feeling different. I have too many anxieties and can barely look anyone in the eyes without feeling uncomfortable. My anxieties are the reason for my level of mindfulness being less then the norm as they cloud my mind and push me into a pretty bad state of dillusiveness. I feel like I have to work extra hard when it comes to mindfulness because of my complications. I appreciate all the responses and took something from everyone.

I was a wreck in my twenties. I could barely look at people too, because of my anxiety. My family worried about me. I remember in my mid to late twenties when I learned about Buddhism trying to be mindful, etc. It was too hard....I had too many issues at the time.

Don 't be too hard on yourself. Just work on improving your positive qualities and take things as they come. As we age we mature and our minds change. How you feel today won't necessarily be how you feel in 5-10 years, but it takes time and patience for that process of transformation to occur and it can't be forced.
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Re: Losing Touch of Reality

Postby K.Dhamma » Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:40 pm

I claim to be nothing particular, but I just want to note what I see in what you wrote. Tell me if I am incorrect.

I feel like I have lost touch of reality. Living mindfully helps us bring ourselves back to what is real. When I am mindful the experience is very overwhelming. When I am unmindful, I am a kid stuck in the exact same phase of his life, never growing up.


Sounds like maybe your mindfulness is becoming a dissociated experience. When I was in my 20's I wasn't buddhist but i had this experience as well. It could be possibly several things. Like some others said, it could be a phase. It could be that you are afraid of letting go of this "kid" like phase of life in lieu of your 20 year old phase of life and it is causing some anxiety. I could be wrong, but that is how I read it. Remember, nothing lasts forever. Not your "kid" phase, and not your 20 year old phase, and definitely not this dissociated feeling you are having.

When I am mindful, it is like people see me, when I am unmindful it is like i am invisible.


Perhaps it's an issue with perception. Think about it. If you are being mindful, you tend to be more aware of others and yourself. When I am unmindful I tend to only worry about myself. Some days are good, some days not so much. It's being aware of those up's and down's and seeing them for what they really are that will open your eyes to the truth. I used to feel the same way about feeling invisible. Some days it still sneaks up.

Have I made it a habit my entire life to live in a way that is so dillusive I lose touch even with those who live unmindfully?


Perhaps there is a "mist" in your perception. A good practice I found when perception becomes occluded by anxiety or the irrational active doing mind, I simply "watch" the "mist." Wait for this to pass. It won't last forever. Once you really truly let go of this experience, the mist will fall and the clarity of insight will prevail.

I hope this helped.

Metta and Equinamity.
"Remember you dont meditate to get anything, but to get rid of things. We do it, not with desire, but with letting go. If you want anything, you wont find it." - Ajahn Chah
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