I just left early from a 3-day Vipassana sitting. I sat for 2 days, and given that it has been 3 years since my initial 10-day sit, I was doing quite well, except that my mind was distracted by an upcoming move to another city, and I also had in my mind that I wanted to celebrate my birthday with my friends on saturday night (my birthday being on sunday, the end of the course). I convinced myself that 3 days wasn't enough anyway and that it wasn't doing much for me (which is a complete fabrication). Essentially, I let my desire to play take over and I left. With 1 more day to go. Once on the road I realized my mistake, and now I feel completely depressed and angry at myself for not finishing the course (a common theme in my life is getting distracted by fun, to a point where it's out of balance). I don't know what to turn to, so I thought i would see if anybody here has any advise or direction for any literature, videos, etc. to help calm myself down.
I have heard that on one occasion the Blessed One was staying in Savatthi at Jeta's Grove, Anathapindika's monastery. Now at that time a large number of monks, after the meal, on returning from their alms round, had gathered at the meeting hall and were engaged in many kinds of bestial topics of conversation: conversation about kings, robbers, & ministers of state; armies, alarms, & battles; food & drink; clothing, furniture, garlands, & scents; relatives; vehicles; villages, towns, cities, the countryside; women & heroes; the gossip of the street & the well; tales of the dead; tales of diversity, the creation of the world & of the sea; talk of whether things exist or not.
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